


We tried the world, good God, it wasn't for us

by dangergranger



Category: Rust (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Ensemble Cast, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Offscreen Violence, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, POV Outsider, Rust AU, Slow Burn, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28658223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangergranger/pseuds/dangergranger
Summary: Edison had traveled a lot, you see. He recognized the dynamics by now: knew when to laugh along the jokes and when to stay quiet in the shadows, had to learn the hard way who he could trust, not only for himself but for Leslie, too. They knew how lucky they were to have found each other in the middle of all this shitstorm, and they didn't expect to find family anywhere else that wasn't the two of them.But man, J10 was just something else wasn't it?
Relationships: Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone
Comments: 217
Kudos: 529





	1. Ash

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Steel and Snare](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28438284) by [JennaLee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaLee/pseuds/JennaLee). 
  * Inspired by [Fireflies and Atom Bombs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28614285) by [owlwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlwrites/pseuds/owlwrites). 



> You know the drill: please dont send any fic to any cc or their friends. This is a work of fiction, purely based on their online personas and my own take on how their dynamics would work on a fictional world. In no way I think this ship is real, and i'll take it down if they comment on it. Please don't make it weird guys!
> 
> I was inspired by the other Rust AUs of this fandom, and this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. Pls go check them out!!

Ash had kind of given up hope at this point.

She had been traveling for almost a month now, and still there was no sign of her group. They had agreed to meet up by the big cliff near the airfield to restock their supplies and start building something more permanent for the winter, but she had taken a fall and sprained her ankle, and the trip back to their gathering spot had taken three times longer than expected.

Still, she had hoped. How foolish.

_ It’s okay _ , her mind insisted while she fruitlessly continued searching for any clues her crew could've left behind.  _ They couldn’t wait forever, right? Anyone in their place would’ve done the same! Moving on is a sign of strength, Ash, get over it. _

But that was her problem, wasn’t it? She couldn’t let things go so easily.

With a frustrated huff, she let her body fall into the grass, and felt the sting of unshed tears behind her eyes. _ I’m alone, again. _ There had to be something profoundly wrong with her, for everyone she met was someone she lost at some point. She felt like she had stretched too far for too long, her skin too large for the empty hollow of her own self, always feeling just this side of too much. And yet, her stupid heart still longed for  _ something _ . For the warmth of another person’s body close to hers near the fire, for laughter that wasn’t the pale echo of her own at night in an empty cave. She yearned for a meal shared together, some kind of friendship, something more that went beyond just the need for survival. She was tired of being just strength in numbers.

“I’m too old for this,” she sighed, breathing in and out, trying to will those thoughts away. She inhaled once more, eyes closed, and steeled herself for one last look around before she moved on, for real this time.

“O-oh,  _ hum, _ He-hey there! Do you need help?”

Startled, she whipped her head around and saw a figure coming up to her. She stood completely still, being caught off guard with her bag of weapons just out of reach, silently cursing her lack of basic self-preservation instincts. The man, it turned out, was a little taller than her, hair windswept and eyes crinkled in a shy smile. He kept both his hands in the air in a show of peace, but Ash had seen too much to be completely at ease with a stranger approaching her in the middle of god knew where.

“Well, hum, hello! My name’s Sykkuno, are you lost? Can I help you?” the stranger repeated, voice soothing and thin lips curving into a little smile that somehow managed to ease her nerves a little bit.

_ Well… here goes nothing. _

“Hey, I’m Ash... I’m looking for my friends, we were supposed to meet here,” she said, inching slowly towards her bag of supplies. She kept talking, paying half a mind to the conversation while focusing her attention on the last steps separating her and her banged up spear. “We’re a group of five, have you seen anybody around?”

“Friends? That’s so nice! I-I've been alone for quite a long time now, having people around must be,  _ eh _ , cool?” She finally got to her supplies, but it seemed that the man wasn’t even aware she had moved. He kept his gaze lowered, one hand coming up to touch the back of his neck in a painfully awkward move. “I-I’m sorry, but I haven’t seen anyone around in a while. I’m not doubting y-you or anything, but are you sure this is the right place?”

Her defeated sigh must’ve been bigger than she thought, for the man gave her a commiserating look, like they were in on the same cosmic joke together.  _ Yeah _ , his smile seemed to say,  _ I get it. I know that feeling, it sucks, right? _ Ash felt really small all of a sudden, her breath getting caught in her throat and her eyes starting to sting. How dare this stranger look at her like that, she didn’t need any pity _ , no sir. _ Her feet were already moving when she heard him call her name.

“W-Wait! Hah, Ash, right? You can, you can stay for awhile. If you want, of course.” He stuttered a little, but as the words came pouring out of his mouth, his confidence started to strengthen. “I’ve started building a base for the winter, you know? Right on the side of that hill, I even got a little pumpkin patch started. Y-You’re welcome to stay for a few days, to see if your friends show up…? It’s not much, but it’s better than being alone, right?”

He was looking straight at her now, hands still in the air and keeping his distance. She was surprised to see traces of her own vulnerability reflected right back at her in his dark eyes, the same type of longing that raged inside her heart. For as long as she could remember, she had felt like a small leaf in the middle of a hurricane, light and unsure on her feet, going with the motions while mourning some long-lost stability that she could barely recall, a deep-seated need of  _ belonging _ that toyed with her heartstrings and left her broken and aching when she got proof, again and again, that she wasn’t suited for this type of world.

This was an olive branch she had never received, never dared to hope for.  _ How strange _ , she thought,  _ to be the one to have the option to leave _ .

________

Ash had been staying with Sykkuno for almost two weeks, and she was still taken aback by how kind he was. If people from _ before _ thought she was too soft, what would they think of him? Sykkuno, with his soothing voice, cooing at his plants and vegetables every morning, touching every little leaf and thorn with the same care one would save for a lover. Sykkuno and his covered smiles, his easy chatter and the way he would listen to her over the fire, eyes gleaming with understanding when she told him about Lily and Michael, 5up and Charlie.

“I do miss them, you know? But I don’t think they miss me, not like I do at least.” She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. They were just chatting, looking at the stars visible through the holes in the roof while the fire crackled between them. She was still kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Sykkuno to kick her out for overstaying her welcome. He had to know her group wasn’t coming back, so why keep up the charade?

“I’m sure that’s not true, Ash. They must’ve gotten lost along the way.” He rolled over to face her, wincing a little when his hip pressed against the harder bumps on the ground. Sykkuno had taken a bad fall trying to tame a horse two days prior, and sleeping on the hard floor really wasn’t helping his case at all.

_ Hmm, I must do something about that. _

“I don’t know, Sykkuno… It happened before, I’m kinda used to being left behind by now.”

“But you shouldn’t!” She startled a little. Sykkuno was never this loud. “W-We already have it hard enough as it is, people shouldn’t be treating each other like, ah, like they’re disposable or something. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t leave you behind like this, there’s no way anyone would ever do that!”

Ash smiled as he kept going, voice growing quiet as he talked more to himself than her. Sykkuno really was something else.

She woke up early on the next morning, determined to follow through with her plan. She wanted to gather some hemp near the cliffs, and knew that she should leave soon or she wouldn’t ever make it back before the sun set and the temperatures dropped. Ash knew winter would be harsher this year, could feel it in the hollows between her bones, and she needed to be prepared. She also wanted to give Sykkuno something back, a small token of her gratitude for everything he’s given her, for the home they’re tentatively building together.

By noon her arms were tired and her face was red with exertion, but she was proud. Ash thought they had enough hemp to fix some of the holes on the roof and a little spare to make two sleeping bags, and she could almost feel her body sigh in relief at the thought of throwing away her old one. It was better than sleeping on the hard ground like Sykkuno had been doing since forever, but it wasn't  _ that _ much better. Her sleeping bag was a hand-me-down from Lily, frayed at the edges and with less than an inch of filling.

She was almost reaching their house when she heard a noise behind her. Seeing nothing, Ash adjusted her bounty and sped up a little up the hill, seeing Sykkuno’s silhouette working on the pumpkin patch.

“Ash, you’re back!” Sykkuno’s eyes were a little red and she could swear there was an odd tremble on his voice.  _ Hm, how strange. _

“Of course, silly! I was just gathering hemp, wanted to make some stuff before winter arrives, y'know?”

“O-Oh, that’s ni-nice of you. I thought, a-ah - nevermind, I’m glad you’re back, Ash.”

_ Oh no. _ Shit. She recognized that look.

“Wait,” she said, getting closer and seeing more clearly the hurt in his slanted eyes, the tension on his jaw. “Sykkuno, did you think I was gone?”

He flinched back a little, hand going to his neck in a gesture that was so familiar to her it made her lips curl in a small smile. _ Oh, Sykkuno. _ Her heart squeezed a little, and she got it, okay? So often had she been in his position, how could she forget?

“I’m sorry. I-I left really early, and I know you haven’t been sleeping much. I just didn't wanna wake you.”

“That’s okay, Ash. I just, uh, overreacted a little when I woke up and you were g-gone,” he stuttered out, face angled away and not really meeting her eyes. “I shouldn’t have panicked, I-I thought your friends had finally shown up and you decided to go with -”

“Sykkuno, they are not coming,” Ash cut in. She felt very tired all of a sudden, but had to make him understand. She had been trying to avoid this conversation, but seeing Sykkuno’s confused gaze made her realize there was no way around the issue anymore. “I’m pretty sure they abandoned me even before we met up, okay? I, uh, already knew that when you invited me over, and I-I’m sorry I lied to you. I just, I didn’t want to be alone again.”

She took a deep breath and looked at him, noticing that his eyes were a little misty, with fresh tears rolling down his pale cheeks.  _ Oh fuck, I’m gonna start crying too. _

“Ash, no, that’s okay! I-I’m really sorry, oh my gosh, that must’ve been so awful.” He launched his arms around her, and she started to laugh a little hysterically, little hiccups of air being punched out of her as she hugged Sykkuno back fiercely. “Y-You’re welcome to stay as long as you want, please, I-I don’t think I can go back to being alone either.”

She still had her arms around his middle when she heard another noise, this time a little closer. Sykkuno was still breathing heavily on her shoulder, hands spasming where they were gripping her forearms tightly, but she couldn’t miss the heavy breathing coming from just a few meters down the hill. She detangled herself from Sykkuno, and they both startled when a deep voice came from the middle of their crops.

“I-I need food, please, pl-please, help m-me.”

Ash was frozen on the spot. All she could see was a head of curly dark hair, a pale arm stretching between the corn stalks, but Sykkuno was already on the move, obscuring the man from view. Sykkuno fell to his knees and tried to get the man on his feet, motioning for Ash to help.

The stranger was burning up.

She could feel the heat emanating from his forehead while she tried to drag him inside their house. He was mumbling nonsense, too fast for any of it to register on her mind, and kept shooting worried glances around. His face was covered in blood, and the tattered remains of his clothes clinged to his toned body like a second skin. They both dropped him near the fire, and she was already cutting up strips of cloth by the time Sykkuno came back with a basin filled with water. They cleaned him up, dressed his wounds and forced some potable water down his throat. The man managed a weak “Thank you” before collapsing against the wall, curled tight into a ball.

He was so thin she could almost count the bumps of his spine along his back.

She could see the exhaustion in Sykkuno's eyes, so she offered to take the first watch. The stranger was still propped up against the wall, head lolling but breathing growing steadier by the minute. Ash all but forced Sykkuno into her old sleeping bag, and he accepted the offer after some minor cajoling. He yawned, jaw popping loudly in the silence of their hut, but his eyes were clouded, and he kept shooting worried glances over at the stranger.

“I hope he feels better tomorrow.”

“Yeah, me too. I have a feeling he’s been following me around since earlier.” She stretched her arms a little, ready to start putting together the pieces she needed for the new sleeping bags. “Wonder why he didn’t approach me sooner though.”

“Hmmm, that’s odd...” Sykkuno said. “Ash, do you,  _ eh _ , recognize him?”

“Not really, no. Should I?”

Sykkuno paused, dark eyes shining in the darkness. “Well, I guess - I guess you wouldn’t, since you haven’t lived around here. There’s this team, down south, they aren’t - aren’t very friendly. I ah - I believe he is, or rather was, one of them.”

“What?” Her hands stilled over the patches of cloth she was sewing together. “Sykkuno, who the hell is this guy?”

He sat up a bit, and angled his body to block her view of the man.  _ That’s odd _ , Ash thought, feeling a little thrown off by the way Sykkuno was acting. _ Oh, god, please don’t let this guy be trouble. _

“You see, there was this talk some months ago, I-I even saw some messages on this pad I found lying around at the station, back during the summer. There’s this man, Goblin.” Here, Ash’s eyes went round as a plate. Rumors about Goblin’s methods had reached her ears and were probably the main reason why her old teammates had avoided these parts of the woods. “He tends to attract some types of fellas, people w-who don’t care about boundaries or peace, or anything really. People that are in it just for the violence and the resources.”

Sykkuno stopped and shot a glance at the man, an unreadable look crossing his features “But the thing is, once you’re inside, people say, you can’t really walk away, right? I heard there was one man who did, though, h-he struck a deal and walked away. Go-Goblin was okay with it, but some of his subordinates felt betrayed by his decision. If this man is who I think he is, they still have a bounty on his head, Ash.”

“And you helped him anyway? Knowing this?” She didn’t want to sound too accusing, but Sykkuno flinched a little at her tone anway. Her hands were trembling, her needlework sloppy. Fuck, what a day. She felt too thin, her emotions all over the place. “What are we gonna do when he wakes up, Sykkuno?”

“I-I just, this isn’t fair, right? People s-should be free to choose who they want to align themselves with. It’s not fair to make a b-bad choice and have it be held over your head forever.”

_ Is he for real right now? _ Ash felt on the verge of hysteria. Not only had Sykkuno recognized a wanted murderer on the spot, but he also had chosen to help and nurse him back to health while she was still reeling from the shock of hearing his voice.  _ Sykkuno really is something else, huh? _

“Y-You don’t have to agree with me, Ash.” He said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “We can wait for him to wake up, and we can figure it out f-from there. You’ll also have a say on this, alright? We-We’re a team now. These things can’t be decided just based on what I want.”

He sounded so earnest, so full of hope. Who was she, really, to say no to him?

“Okay, Sykkuno, I guess we’ll figure it out as we go.” Emotionally wrung out, she laughed a little and ruffled his hair, and they both knew it was already settled. Ash was too much like Sykkuno to turn down someone who needed her. “Now, please, go to sleep, you look like a zombie.”

Sykkuno smiled gratefully at her, and he was out in less than a minute, the day seeming to have finally caught up with him. Ash inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly, three times, and got back to work.

She now had three sleeping bags to finish, and a whole lot of things to mull over in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! English isn't really my first language, so I'm on the lookout for a beta to help me. If anyone's up for the job, send me a dm o/
> 
> I'm planning on writing 5+ chapters, spanning the shenanigans of the first rust server, each one from the POV of a different character. I'm a sucker for found family, and their interactions during stream were so wholesome I couldn't help myself. 
> 
> Next on: Toast!


	2. Toast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got ourselves a beta guyss, and this chapter is now 245% better than before. Thanks a lot to [wheniwasfragile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheniwasfragile/pseuds/wheniwasfragile) for your clever input and suggestions!! Also big shout out to everyone who read & reviewed. You guys are the best <3

Toast had been alone for a very long time. That was how he liked it best.

He had associates, of course, and people he traded with. The island was huge, and he had never felt the need to stay near big groupings. He had tried the whole communal living thing a couple years back, but the arbitrary rules and bloodthirsty leaders kinda bummed him out. He understood the need to be known and recognized, knew he was safer the more people knew of him, but hated it all the same. Toast liked things to be neat and organized, and he needed to know where all the exits were before putting a foot inside someone else’s hut. He particularly liked to keep things at a distance, all sorted into tight little boxes in his mind, a collection of small facts and oddities he picked up along the years that together painted an almost complete picture of the political landscape he’d been trying to control. 

What he didn’t understand though, was this message he had received a few days prior. 

A crate full of weapons had been left at his door. Not at his base, not with one of his many employees or even at his more known safehouses. No, the weapons had been left at his personal house, with a set of coordinates, a smiley face and a date scratched at the bottom of a particularly nasty shotgun. His people had been pissed off at the boldness of the gesture, but Toast had felt mildly amused at the chaos brought upon by such a small action.  _ Huh.  _ He liked these strangers already. 

As Toast kept climbing up the ranks, the less the people around him acted out of the ordinary. All the wannabe warlords and weapons dealers were  _ oh so very careful  _ around him, not even daring to look at him funny anymore. Toast understood, he really did; if he were in their shoes, he also wouldn’t wanna piss off the man controlling the entirety of the north coast, and, by extension, lose access to the loot he brought back from all the cargo ships still floating around the coastline.  _ But still _ . It was getting so boring Toast was actually considering allowing Dream to pick a fight with Goblin, just so that something different would happen.  _ It’d certainly liven up the place a little bit.  _

Yeah, Toast loved puzzles. He loved to pick the problems apart into tiny little pieces and put them all back together, just to see if they’d fit. But he absolutely lived for the challenge of the unknown, that little thrill that ran like electricity under his skin when he faced something  _ new  _ and  _ unexpected _ . He lived for that shit, was addicted to it even. 

That was why he simply smiled when Dream called him a madman for even considering following those coordinates and absolutely lost it at Brodin’s look of dismay.

“Guys, relax, nothing is going to happen,” he reasoned one last time, adjusting his makeshift armour over his shirt.

“You can’t possibly know that, Toast! It’s an unnecessary risk!”

“Brodin, c’mon man, no one would dare touch us out in the open like that, I’m pretty sure we’re safe.” 

“Dude, you can’t possibly -”

“You don’t actually believe that, right?” Dream’s voice cut swiftly through Brodin’s rant, and Toast saw him coming down the stairs already in full gear. “That’s why you’re so eager to go. You’re curious to see who would  _ dare  _ send those guns to us.”

Toast laughed, and punched Dream’s arm now that he was closer to them. “Dream, my man, my most trusted fellow. Would I actually do that? Would I willingly put myself in danger on a whim? Just to, I dunno,  _ satiate my curiosity _ ?"

“Yeah, you would,” both Dream and Brodin stated at the same time, equal parts exasperated and defeated. Brodin sighed, a little whistling noise leaving his mouth like a kettle, his whole body deflating like a balloon. He steeled himself though, and started making shooing motions with his long arms.

“If you wanna get killed so bad, by all means, go ahead. I’m gonna stay behind and try to sort out our little border problem.” Brodin paused and looked them both in the eyes. “Please don’t do anything stupid. I don’t wanna have to avenge you guys. The people who sent you that crate must have a lot more surprises than just a few guns and that cool looking rifle we got as a free sample.”

Toast nodded. Brodin could be a little odd sometimes, but there was a reason Toast liked to have him around. He was not stupid.

He saw Dream give Brodin a small salute, and they both left. The spot where they were meeting their mysterious benefactors wasn’t too far away, but they had to hurry a bit if they wanted to get there early. 

They walked for almost an hour, and arrived at an abandoned wagon a few miles east of their own base. Toast saw two horses strapped to a nearby tree, and felt his blood start pumping faster as he was reminded of the sheer  _ boldness  _ of the people he was about to meet. 

Dream was finishing rounding the metal structure when a strangely melodic voice came from the inside.

“Oh, I think they’re here! C’mon, let-let’s go greet them.”

Both Dream and Toast had their guns trained on the man before he managed to get the door completely open, his brown eyes almost comically wide when he saw himself faced with the barrel of their guns. There was a click, and a second man emerged, a little taller than the first, dressed completely in black with a bandana tied around the lower half of his face, holding a pistol in each hand aimed directly at their heads. 

“Well, uh, I think we can all take a little step back and lower our guns, right? The-There’s no need for this, we’re among friends, aren’t we?” Strangely, the man was addressing his partner more than Toast and Dream, seeming completely at ease even with both their weapons in point-blank range. 

_ Hm, that’s curious.  _

Tall guy didn’t relent, but at least stopped making  _ totally creepy and unnecessary  _ eye contact with Toast for a moment,  _ Jesus H. Christ,  _ glancing at his companion with something that almost resembled fondness. 

_ Okay, this is interesting _ . Toast lowered his weapon and winked at the taller of the two, hearing a small “Toast, you absolute fucker” coming from Dream. They were all staring at  _ tall and creepy _ , who seemed really conflicted at the moment. Toast was enjoying this already. 

“Come on, now, let’s all get inside so the sun doesn't fry our brains out before we can chat a little,” the smaller of the two interjected, and Toast saw him put his arm around Tall and Creepy’s waist to slowly drag him inside. Dream shot Toast a look over his shades, and they followed the pair into the shed. 

The four of them sat in silence for a while, and Toast couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he should remember who they were. There was something on the small one’s profile, the slant of his eyes and the arch of his eyebrow, that raised some red flags on the back of Toast’s mind. It bothered him that he couldn't place where he might’ve seen him before. 

Staying true to his character, Dream cleared his throat and signaled for the others to hurry up. He was always the impatient one during negotiations like this.

“Well, I-I’m glad you guys came! It’s really nice to finally meet the famous Toast. O-Oh, and it’s nice to meet you too Dream, even though I’m, huh, surprised you came along.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t let my boy Toast come alone, you know?” Dream’s smile was shockingly genuine when he replied, and Toast could see his eyes dart briefly to Tall and Creepy before he continued. “Besides, If I'd known a cutie like you would be waiting for us, I’d have volunteered much sooner.”

If Toast were paying any less attention, he would’ve lost the minute tensing of Tall and Creepy’s posture. But, since this was the most entertained he had been in fucking months, he caught how the guy’s shoulders twitched and his gaze zeroed on Dream’s dark sunglasses, probably trying to set them on fire by sheer power of will. His companion sputtered a little, and his nervous glance at the other also didn't escape Toast’s notice. 

_ Being a little obvious there, huh, pals?  _ “Seems like you did your homework, then. What do we call you guys? And why did you send me all those shiny toys? We all know Christmas is still a couple months away.”

“A-Ah, I’m Sykkuno! From J10! That was super rude, wasn’t it? I’m sorry, we should’ve left a better note or something, but I really didn’t want anyone else figuring out our little meeting.” Sykkuno smiled, and Toast wasn’t fooled for a second. He still hadn’t introduced his partner. “We, huh, wanted to make a proposition. Strike a-a deal, and the weapons were our way of showing how nice this partnership could be. Yep, super beneficial for both of us.”

Sykkuno paused, and something about him seemed to shift. Dream noticed too, and even Tall and Creepy stopped trying to stare holes through Dream’s forehead for a minute to glance at his partner, a furrow in his dark brows that hadn’t been there before. 

“There’s a tiny little detail, though. One of us has a, huh, price. On their head. And we need you to make it go away.” Here, Sykkuno looked deep into Toast’s eyes, and he swore he could see them burning a little brighter.  _ Must be a trick of the light or something.  _ “Negotiate it, pay it off, we don’t really care. If you make it disappear, we’ll give you priority over anything new we make. Anything we come up with, you’ll have first pickings.”

To say Toast was a little taken aback by this offer was an understatement. It was something so unexpected, unusual and bold, just like  _ giving someone a shitton of weapons with only a smiley face scratched at the bottom _ . This was something so at odds with the unassuming man that was sitting across from him that he almost said no just to see what else Sykkuno would put on the table. But he hadn’t gotten where he was by being reckless, so he tampered his curiosity down, and tried to puzzle all the pieces together.

“How much are we talking about here?” Dream asked, his eyes narrowed. 

Sykkuno rattled off an absurd number, and if the situation wasn’t so dire, Toast might’ve laughed at how high Dream’s eyebrows rose.

“For that, we’ll need more than just the weapon's priority. You’re the one that creates those beauties you sent us, right, Sykkuno?” Toast asked, eyeing the guns both Sykkuno and his companion had casually dropped on the table. He also saw how the other man was slowly angling his larger body to hide Sykkuno from view, his action as adorable as it was useless.  _ Oh, Tall and Creepy is not gonna like this,  _ he thought gleefully, anticipation rippling under his skin. Sykkuno muttered affirmatively, and Toast was delighted to continue. “How about  _ you  _ come to our compound and stay with us for a few weeks, huh, Sykkuno? Test our security, help us figure out and improve our blind spots, create some  _ awesome  _ weapons down at our  _ huge  _ warehouse, the whole shebang. What do you say?”

Sykkuno looked intrigued, but before he could open his mouth a deep voice cut through the air like a knife. “Fuck off, that’s not on the table.”

Sykkuno looked alarmed at his partner’s interruption, and Toast could feel the click of the puzzle pieces fitting together.

“Oh my, if it isn’t the elusive Corpse Husband, in the flesh. I’m honored.”

Corpse narrowed his eyes at Toast, and his whole body seemed like a coiled snake.  _ Biding his time, ready to spring at a moment's notice _ . Dream must have noticed it too, as he casually dropped his hand to the gun strapped to his hip, tensing just enough. It was a warning, not a threat. At least for now.

“Sykkuno is non-negotiable. Pick something else,” Corpse said, his low voice bouncing off the metal walls of the container they were in. 

“A-Ah, Corpse is right, I can’t leave our base for such a long time. I’m sorry.” Sykkuno's smile was a little forced, but his eyes never strayed from Toast. He felt like he was under the world’s friendliest microscope, but the calculating look shining across Sykkuno’s features wasn’t any different to what Toast saw in his own mirror in the morning. 

“That’s unfortunate… We could also use some of Mr. Husband’s  _ expertise _ , though,” Toast said, eyes focused on Sykkuno. “I’m sure he’d be more than capable of training some of our associates, and he’d do a remarkable job of testing our defences. Maybe do a little security job on the side for us, for old time’s sake.”

“No, absolutely not.” Sykkuno’s answer was fast, an almost pleading look on his face when he turned Corpse’s way. “That’s even less acceptable than me going with them.”

“Sy, that's okay. It’ll be just a couple weeks, you guys can manage without me.” Corpse’s voice was a low rumble, and Toast had to strain a little to hear. “It’s my fault everyone back home is at risk, I should be the one to take responsibility.”

It was one thing to see Corpse alive in front of him, but see him actually listening to someone else’s opinion? Referring to their base as  _ home?  _ Damn. Toast kinda hit the jackpot here, didn’t he? 

While Toast’s thoughts were racing each other to see which of them could finally make his brain short-circuit for good, Sykkuno shook his head, voice so earnest and full of  _ something  _ that Toast was certain they both forgot they had two other people in the room with them. “That’s not how we feel about it, Corpse, and you know that. We already talked about this, I-I can’t - I won’t let you take the fall for something that’s not your fault, okay? We’re a,  _ huh _ , team, right? We’ll sort it out. Together.”

They seemed to be caught in a strange staring match, and maybe ten percent of Toast felt bad to be intruding on something that was getting way too personal for what was supposed to be a business meeting. As always, Dream was on the same page as him, and coughed loudly, making Corpse and Sykkuno snap out of their little bubble, matching deer-in-the-headlights looks across their features. Toast was relieved to be back on track. Yeah, he liked to know how people work, but having it spelled it out in front of his eyes like this was a little too much for his sensibilities. 

“Oh, so, huh, it’s settled then. None of us can come stay at your base, unfortunately.”  _ What is up with this guy _ , Toast though.  _ He actually looks regretful at that.  _ “But, if you want, you can come visit us sometime. We can have a look at your blueprints, or any schematic that you’d be, huh, comfortable showing us. I-I can help you with some strategy. Back home, we created a security system that’s actually pretty good, we could adapt it for you without too much hassle, I think.”

“You’re being too humble, Sy. That grid thing you and Bo came up with is a goddamn genius move, and Toast would be lucky to have it on his base.” Corpse let out a snort, crossing his arms as if he couldn’t let the opportunity pass even though it pained him to share this information. “You can trust me on this, if I was still in business, that would be a real pain to get through.”

Sykkuno got a little red on the face, but didn’t dispute the information. 

Toast was floored. He came out here today expecting some bold little arms dealer wanting to negotiate a few hundred weapons in exchange for access to his ships or whatever. Instead, he got an ex-merc back from the dead who had suddenly grown a heart, a genius little dude who allegedly had security tech that could really help Brodin out with their border issues, and, to top it off, first pick on weapons which he knew were among the best on the island. Toast knew getting Corpse’s bounty waved off would be hard, but the deal Sykkuno was offering more than made up for it. If he was as good as Corpse was saying, Toast could be looking at someone who was actually competition. For the first time in a very very long time, Toast might not be alone. 

They took the deal. 

________

Months after their first meeting, Toast had found himself travelling southeast a lot more that he’d like to admit.

It was just. J10 was really pleasant, okay? And Sykkuno rarely ever agreed to meet outside their borders, so what was a guy to do? So, up the hill he went, with a cackling Dream hot on his heels.

For all that Sykkuno was an open book, he still remained a mystery to Toast.

He had been doing a little digging on the side. For all his efforts, he now knew a grand total of three things about his new business partner: one, Sykkuno was  _ very  _ smart. Like, he had his heart in the right place and the morals you sort of didn’t expect when dealing with an arms dealer, but there was a brightness to his mind that Toast was pleasantly surprised to uncover. At first glance it was hard to tell, but Sykkuno chose his words very carefully; he never straight up lied, but there were a few times where Toast could see the imaginary band that held the truth together stretching almost to its snapping point. Sykkuno had a silver tongue like no other, and it made Toast genuinely smile at how  _ easy  _ it was for Sykkuno to dance between the threads of half-truths and lies by omission he weaved all around their island. It truly was a thing of beauty.

The second thing was that Sykkuno also put a lot of thought into who his partners were. Toast wasn’t fooled by the whole needing-help-with-Corpse’s-bounty, okay? Yes, J10 was small, but they were also resourceful and surprisingly well-connected. Just this morning Toast had gotten wind that Valkyrae was about to join them, for crying out loud. Sykkuno and Corpse could’ve gone to anyone else and they would’ve probably walked out with a sweeter deal than what they got with Toast. 

_ But, why didn’t they?  _ Toast had been asking himself this question for a while, and was no closer to getting a satisfactory answer than the last dozen times he had lost sleep thinking about it. Sykkuno had been delighted to meet Scarra and Hafu, but didn’t pursue anything further with Felix or Yvvone. He'd had the balls to go and straight up say no when Toast had wanted to share his security tech with Beast, even hinting at cutting off their partnership for good if that happened. Toast knew there was something stopping him from seeing the whole picture, and he was getting antsy to solve this particular mystery.

The third thing Toast had learned shouldn’t even count, but since the list was small and Toast had a preference for odd numbers, he jotted it down on his mind anyway: Sykkuno was very fond of his team, and had a soft spot a mile wide for a certain ex-merc. It was clear as day how much sway Corpse had over Sykkuno. 

Sykkuno did everything in his power to make even Corpse’s silliest wishes a reality, and the fact J10 had more horses than people to ride them was a small token of that. It was a waste of precious resources, but so stupidly endearing. If Toast had to witness Sykkuno losing his train of thought one more time just because Corpse happened to pass by without a shirt on,  _ so help him God,  _ he would be forced to take action. Toast couldn’t imagine what it must be like to live with them, to see this bullshit behaviour every day and not lock them both inside a cabin until they figured their shit out. 

Toast liked to think he and Ash had developed a special kind of bond, forged over commiserating looks and sheer second-hand embarrassment, as the two were often the unwilling witnesses of Sykkuno and Corpse’s disastrous attempts at staying professional during missions while also dancing around their feelings. Toast had nothing but respect for Ash, and he was certain that, if not for her constant presence on meetings and well-timed interjections, things would’ve gone south many times already. Despite what Dream liked to jokingly imply, Toast didn’t think Corpse and Sykkuno were useless; he saw them together enough to know the pair knew how to be charming and professional when the situation called for it, but there was  _ something  _ brewing between the both of them that put Toast on edge. 

How could they be that obvious? Shit, Sykkuno’s behaviour could be excused, but Corpse should at least know better than that. Didn’t they realize everyone could see how important they were to each other? It grated on Toast’s nerves to see other people  _ taking note  _ of how Sykkuno’s hand made a home for itself on the small of Corpse’s back, of how Corpse’s entire frame seemed to go soft around the edges when Sykkuno laughed at whatever crazy weapon upgrade Dream wanted them to try out. They were walking such a fine line. There was only so much that Scarra, Dream and even Toast could do to cover for them. Goblin’s people weren’t the brightest crayons in the box, but they had eyes and ears spread all around the land, and it wouldn’t take much for people to talk. It was only a matter of time before Corpse’s old  _ friends  _ caught wind of who exactly was behind Toast’s sudden interest in waiving off his bounty. 

But here they were, with Sykkuno and Corpse sitting comfortably by the fire, Ash’s voice carrying over the wind while they traded small stories of the horse who gave birth earlier in the morning, how Ludwig almost passed out trying to help but got tangled in some ropes, how Brooke came in and basically saved the day. Toast saw the way J10 people were so comfortable with each other, casual touches and easy smiles, the absolute contrast to his own rigid posture, Brodin’s attentive gaze that never seemed to rest, jumping from one target to the next, Dream’s twitchy fingers; there was a universe of calculated distance between their casual slouches, while the people in front of them moved like the ocean, voices gentle as the ebb and flow of the waves back home. 

Toast couldn’t understand how they did it. He would never allow himself to be that vulnerable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: *hates writing dialogue*  
> also me: *writes almost 4k of people talking back and forth* RIP
> 
> Next chapter: Rae (!!!)


	3. Rae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm amazed at the response last chapter got, you guys are amazing! Also, thanks again to [wheniwasfragile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheniwasfragile/pseuds/wheniwasfragile) for the beta, you rock!!  
> There's a small **trigger warning for suicidal thoughts** on this chapter - It's nothing explicit, but if this is something that triggers skip the part between "Ash and Sykkuno - I can remember it so" and "Oh, Corpse. That’s -- I’m sorry."
> 
> This chapter is 5k+ of Rae being awesome. Enjoy!

Sometimes Rae woke up and she could swear there was still blood on her hands.

She was good at her job, okay? She had sharp reflexes, a sharp eye and an even sharper mind. She could get her targets out in one fell swoop of her axe or a well-aimed bullet when they could spare such fancy. She used to have the stomach for it as well, but she was getting a little queasy as of late.

It wasn’t easy working under Scarra, but the man paid well and treated his associates with that small level of human decency that had become as rare as a jug of oil. They shared resources and loot equally, and she always had a place to crash after a job if needed.

But a sense of wrongness had been slowly growing inside her, and she was tired of ignoring it.

She sat at one of the beat up couches on Scarra’s River Base, Poki to her left and Wendy by the door, both of them looking away from her. Scarra was typing silently on his messenger by the corner, probably still engrossed in whatever new fuckery Toast was planning on his side of the island. Twirling her knife in her fingers, her mind was far away.

They were supposed to arrive at any moment now.

Sykkuno’s team, J10, the little pacifists that Scarra loved to entertain. The weapons dealer. Corpse’s new team.

At this point, everyone up north knew of them. This tiny group of people that apparently had free passage wherever they wanted, charming all the major leaders into accepting their neutrality, the whole “J10 is friends” bullshit that seemed to stick with most people she knew. She kinda hated them, honestly - they made it look so easy.

The thing was, Rae was tired. So, so fucking tired. She was a 25 year-old woman with more kills to her name than years she’d probably ever live to see. She was sick of cleaning guts from her only good jacket, so goddamn tired of waking up feeling nothing, numb to everything that wasn’t the growing pit inside her stomach. She was absolutely terrified of going to sleep and waking up again, and again, and keeping the cycle of violence and blood going until she met her demise at the barrel of someone else’s gun. She needed an out, and needed it fast.

Her hands started shaking and she put the knife away. She didn’t need any more blood spilled on her fingers.

Fifteen minutes later, she finally heard a knock outside the door. Everyone quickly snapped into position, and she saw Wendy shoot a little glance her way before opening it. Only three of them were here, it seemed. She watched Ash come in first, voice ringing clearly in their small space, greeting everyone like old friends and already claiming a spot for herself on the couch beside Poki. After her entered Sykkuno, a little more subdued but no less friendly, followed closely by Corpse, dressed all in black with the usual mask covering half his face, no guns in sight as previously agreed, watchful eyes tracking every move Sykkuno made.

“Hey, Scarra, it’s been a while! H-How’s the pumpkin patch? Hope you guys are enjoying our seeds over here, they’re the best in the land.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re good, Sykkuno. Wendy’s been trying out some pie recipes with them. We’re... getting there,” Scarra laughed a little at the end, and motioned for Sykkuno and Corpse to sit near him. Sykkuno smiled a little when Corpse got the chair out for him, and Rae felt her eye twitch. Was this what was going to become of her? To be some dude’s lap dog? Did she really want an out this bad?

_ Yeah _ , her mind supplied.  _ And not any out, you want them. You’ve seen their base, how they all act around each other. You want what they have, you want in. _

“We understand you have something to discuss about the last shipment we sent?” Sykkuno asked.

Rae tuned out their voices while Scarra went into the nitty-gritty of their deal. Scarra was a fair employee and a ruthless negotiator, and he’d set his eyes on their little gambling warehouse. More specifically, the weapons people were leaving by the door with Lud, and he wanted to know if Sykkuno had a chance to sneak a peek at H12’s new rifles. For research purposes, of course.

She spent all 2 hours and forty five minutes of that meeting rehearsing her speech, going over the pros of having someone like her on a team like theirs, how invaluable her skills were and really, what a favour Rae would be doing them by joining their little J10 crew.

Yeah. She was gonna fuck this up, wasn’t she?

Sooner than she expected, the meeting was over and Sykkuno and Scarra were shaking hands. Scarra nodded at her, giving her shoulder a little tap on the way out.

“Well, Sykkuno, this was fun, but I have some urgent matters to attend. I’ll leave you guys with Valkyrae, I understand she has some business to discuss with you guys.” Scarra stopped at the door. Poki’s eyes were shooting daggers at her, and Wendy was already out of sight. “It was nice having you around, Rae. If you ever change your mind, my offer still stands.”

She nodded, ever grateful that Scarra wasn’t Goblin. She shuddered just thinking about what it would take to leave his team.

How Corpse had managed to do just that still remained a mystery.

Rae took a deep breath and moved to sit at the table. Ash stood too and came to a stop at the other end, having a silent conversation with Corpse over Sykkuno’s shoulder. Sykkuno smiled at her. She kinda wanted to scream.

“Sooo, I don’t know if you guys remember me, but I came to your base a few times with Scarra.” At their confirmation, she took a deep breath to steel herself. Game on, Rae. “To be honest, I’m thinking of changing careers, being hired muscle is getting kind of old.”

“Hmmm, imagine that.” Corpse’s deep voice startled her, but his tone was a little amused, so she counted that as a win. She saw the look he shared with Sykkuno, and the little smile Ash was trying to hide behind her hand.  _ Okay, I can do this. _

“I was wondering if you guys had room for one more ex-merc on your team?”

________

Once upon a time, Rae had a house filled to the brim with people, and more sisters than she knew what to do with. She lost them all, of course, and on her good days she thanked whatever deity was still creeping around this wasteland that her old family didn’t have to go through everything she had.

Living with Sykkuno’s gang was simultaneously everything she thought it would be and nothing at all like her imagination. The way her heart already ached for them was certainly a surprise.

It shouldn’t work, this dynamic of theirs. Sykkuno was a walking contradiction that still baffled her, even after six months of living in close proximity. With just a few scraps of metal and gunpowder mixed with a dash of absolute batshit insanity, Sykkuno came up with weapons that made her mouth water. He was a pacifist through and through, but he was also very smart and seemed to know how people ticked just by looking at them. He made the most outrageous deals with just a smile and had the audacity to say he _ just got lucky, Rae, it’s no big deal _ . More often than not, she wanted to shake some sense into him so that he’d stop putting himself in dangerous situations without as much as a whiff of a backup plan. She was not saying that the rest of the team wasn’t just as chaotic as Sykkuno, but at least they had the decency of looking ashamed when she caught them in the act of doing something stupid. Sykkuno just smiled and apologized, but never made any promises to try better. They both knew he won’t change.

She could see herself growing old with these people, and Rae cursed her stupid heart for wanting such a thing.

Rae could also see the  _ looks _ . She wasn’t blind. Everyone at base could see that something was going on between Sykkuno and Corpse, and from what Rae had gathered from her casual investigation, this something had been growing between them for a while. Ash believed they had been destined to find each other, and swore up and down that their first meeting had been meant to be. Ludwig liked to joke around that Corpse and Sykkuno were star-crossed, and Rae was somewhat shocked to realize that a small part of him actually believed that. Brooke just thought they were lucky, and  _ really stupid for not doing anything already, Jesus. _

Surprisingly, she got to talk to Corpse not too long after her initial suspicions.

At first, Rae just wanted to understand how far Corpse’s judgment was compromised. She really needed an ally in the middle of all this, and she had known of him from before Corpse had joined Sykkuno. She felt like if anyone on this ragtag team of lunatics would get her doubts and insecurities, her sleepless nights and restless days, it would be him.

“Hey, Crops, how’s it going?”

“Rachel,” he drawled, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “What brings you to my humble abode?”

“ _ Your _ humble abode, huh? I thought this was  _ Sykkuno’s _ house. In fact, I remember him specifically saying that to me when I arrived.” She smiled, trying to do her best Sykkuno impression. “O-oh, Rae, this is my home! Bu-but you’re welcome here anytime, it’s not like there-there is a lock or anything, and even if there was, I’d gladly share it with you guys -”

Corpse threw his head back and laughed, his body shaking a little. “Oh my god, that was so creepy, you sounded just like him.”

“I know, right? I even surprised myself.” Rae sat by his side, legs dangling over the small porch. The easy camaraderie between her and Corpse had been a welcome surprise, and Corpse’s large frame and steady presence seemed to ease her nerves a little bit.  _ Here is a man that’s seen some shit _ , she thought. Like this, it was easy to love him as one of her own, knowing he would put up a good fight before going down, maybe even win. She wasn’t so sure about the others.

Rae took a deep breath, not really knowing how to approach the subject. She was a woman of action, and words oftentimes escaped her. What good were these heavy things on her tongue when compared to the assuredness of a smoking hot gun on her hands? Corpse didn’t miss her heavy sigh, but chose to wait for her to get her bearings.

“I’m scared, you know.” Her voice sounded small even to her own ears, and a part of Rae hoped her words would get lost in the wind.

Corpse hummed. “Understandable… Is it something specific, or just the general I’m-living-through-an-apocalypse scared?”

Rae knocked his feet with hers, a little frustrated. “No, it’s not anything specific, I just - I don’t know how you do _ this. _ ”

“This?” Corpse asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Yeah,  _ all of this _ , you know?” she gestured wildly, trying to convey the enormity of everything she could lose. “How do you seem so, I don’t know, settled? You were one of the best, Corpse, and probably the most feared. You were the stuff of nightmares, and I swear, there are some stories about you that still give me chills.”

Corpse had shifted a little, posture going slightly stiff. “And your point is?”

“I don’t know, shit. Does it... does it ever get easier?” Rae avoided his eyes. Her walls were so thin. If Corpse breathed a little too close, all her defences would come tumbling down. “I feel like I’ll never be able to sleep without nightmares ever again.”

She could feel his eyes on her, the silence stretching between them. “There are days I close my eyes and all I can see are their faces, you know?” he said quietly. “The people we kill have a way of staying with us. I never thought I’d survive this far. When I left Goblin, I was certain they’d catch me, somehow. At least, Greek would,” he continued, and Rae had finally managed to gather enough courage to look at his face. Corpse seemed a little lost, his profile illuminated by the setting sun the perfect picture of wistfulness. “Ash and Sykkuno - I can remember it so clearly when they found me, Rae… I was so cold. There was this huge something inside me, the guilt was eating me alive, and I - I was ready to die. I, ah, kinda wanted to.”

“Oh, Corpse. That’s - I’m sorry.”

Corpse gave a long sigh, and his shoulders dropped. “That’s okay. It’s just - I, I don’t know what to say. Shit sucks, and some days I wake up ready for the other shoe to drop, but it never does. You learn to live with it, I guess. With the memories and stuff. It doesn't get easier, but it gets better.”

They sat in silence after that, Rae’s thoughts still buzzing inside her mind. “What if - what if I don’t fit in anymore? I’m scared I forgot how to live a normal life.” _ I wonder if I ever knew how _ .

He chuckled at that, a dark little thing that sent chills up her spine. “And what’s the alternative, Rae? Do you wanna leave? Go back to Scarra?”

“Maybe I should. What if - Corpse, what if this doesn’t - it won’t last. I’m afraid that I’ll wake up some day and everybody will be gone. I’m afraid it’ll be my fault.”

Rae could feel the weight of his gaze on her, but Corpse remained silent, ever patient, waiting for her to get it all out of her system.

“We both know how fucking fragile this is, Corpse,” Rae said, trying to put into words the garbled mess of feelings inside her. “How can you stand to be here,  _ playing house _ with Sykkuno, knowing that - fuck, that someone could come and mess it up? That someone could come for you, and he could be caught in the crossfire?”

It took a moment for Rae to realize she was crying, her frustration and fear having reached a boiling point. Corpse’s fingers closed around hers, and he gave it a little squeeze. All the fight and indignation seemed to have bled out of his posture, leaving a soft understanding that she only ever saw when he was near Sykkuno.

“I know, Rae, I - I used to feel the same way. I once tried to leave, you know? Got as far as the south border before Sykkuno caught up to me. I had never seen him so upset.” Corpse laughed a little, lost in the memory. “I tried to reason with him, said him and Ash would be safer without me hanging around.That he should know better than inviting a wanted man into his home.”

“What did he say? I imagine he wasn’t too happy about it,” Rae asked, her grip on his hand like a lifeline.

“No, he was furious. Had a whole speech about me not respecting his choices and stuff. He, ah, even swore at me.” Corpse coughed a little before continuing, and Rae could see how his cheeks were tinted pink. “I, uh, I was caught off guard by all of it, I didn’t expect him to care so much, you know? Sykkuno has such a gentle heart, and fuck, I couldn’t bring myself to break it.”

“So, you stayed… Just because he asked?”

“Yeah, kinda. Sykkuno, h-he offered me a choice. Can’t remember anyone else ever doing that.” Corpse squeezed her hand, falling silent for a while. His eyes were burning with a kind of intensity that was new, at least to her. “There are things in my past that are really fucked up, and I know I don’t deserve Sykkuno’s kindness, or anyone else’s really, but shit. I feel like I’ve been going with the flow of things for so long, Rae, always just reacting and surviving and I - I wanted to be selfish, for once, you know? I wanted to choose something for myself, regardless if it made sense or not. Back then, I knew I should’ve gone away, but I chose to stay. I’d choose this a million times over.”

Rae nodded her head along Corpse’s impromptu speech. All this time she’d been in J10, she had never heard him talk for so long; his hoarse voice was soothing, and something deep inside her felt somewhat seen, that uncertainty that had been eating at her resolve recoiling and letting her breathe a little easier. The cracks in his voice felt like the beats of a long-forgotten song, soothing and eerily familiar. Corpse was putting into words some of her own insecurities, and the picture he was painting left her brittle and little raw, but also lighter somehow.

“Do you - Do you think us being here puts everyone else at risk?” She knew her voice sounded a little fragile, but powered through it anyway. If Corpse could open up about so much, the least she could do was try to be just as brave. “Are you still scared?”

Corpse hummed a little, considering her question. “Yeah, I’m terrified. Deep down, every time one of us goes away for too long, I get antsy.”

“Especially if it’s Sykkuno, right?” _ Oh fuck _ , she hadn’t meant to say that out loud. _ That’s it. Corpse is gonna walk away any second now. _

Corpse’s face went through such intense emotions it was like his eyebrows were going for the gold on gymnastics. Rae sat frozen on the spot, her fight-or-flight senses going crazy. Her hand still holding Corpse’s fingers on a vice grip was an anchor tethering her to the conversation she now wanted really hard to avoid.

Corpse ran his other hand over his face, exhaling loudly through his teeth. “Fuuuck, am I that easy to read?”

_ There must be something very wrong with my sense of self-preservation tonight _ , Rae thought, ignoring what was clearly a rhetorical question and answering with a “Yes…” that was both too fast and too loud for the mood they had going on. She started to slowly withdraw her hand in case she needed to make a hasty exit.

“I’m sorry? For all it’s worth, I think Sykkuno hasn’t caught on to it yet. Can’t say the same for everyone else though. You guys aren’t very subtle on base.”  _ Or outside _ , but she left that out for now. Corpse was clearly emotionally wrung out already, and having a conversation about appropriate PDA behavior could wait until he and Sykkuno figured their shit out.

Rae was glad she and Corpse managed to talk about everything else before things got derailed. Her mind wasn’t such an anxious mess anymore, and she got the feeling this was something Corpse needed help sorting through. It was now her turn to wait until he found the right words.

“Fuck, I don’t know what else to do, Rae. I’ve been trying to be subtle about it, but it’s so hard. Sykkuno makes it near impossible to - I swear, I try to keep my distance. I-I don’t want to force my feelings onto him and -”

“Wait, Corpse, hold on. You think he doesn’t care about you too?”

“I know he cares… Sykkuno, he - he doesn't know how not to.” Corpse’s smile was a fragile thing, and he looked so young under the setting sun Rae felt an absurd wave of protectiveness wash over her. She knew Corpse was more than equipped to protect himself, if anything he was the one she counted on to have her back. But rationality was a fickle thing when Rae’s heart was involved, and she was also learning to accept this weakness of hers. Before, the idea of ever meeting Corpse used to haunt her, but now she knew better. His reputation as a marksman was well deserved, yes, but so much of everything else was no more than smoke and mirrors. Corpse wasn’t some larger than life stranger, but a caring, funny, devoted man who was trying his best to fit in somewhere they both knew they shouldn’t.

“I know he cares about me, I just - I don’t know if he feels the same way as I do about him.” Corpse looked down and his hands scratched the back of his neck in a gesture that was so endearingly reminiscent of Sykkuno she felt her heart give a hopeful little squeeze.

“Corpse, I’m sure he does. Anyone with eyes can see that you are special to him,” she said, trying to keep her voice level, and it was more of a challenge than anticipated. In her mind, these were facts: the sky was blue; Ludwig’s food was atrocious; a rainstorm would always make everything better; Sykkuno loved Corpse. It was almost surreal the way Corpse looked at her, like she was into some kind of deep dark secret of his. “If you’re so unsure, you could just talk to him, you know? You guys are close, I’m sure it’d turn out okay.”

He sighed deeply, fingers poking through the holes on his jeans. “I don’t - I can’t put him on the spot like that. I would never do anything to jeopardize what we already have, Rae.” His eyes were trained on the horizon, and the last rays of sun made him golden, almost ethereal. She was afraid to blink and miss this softer side of him. “If - If he does feel that way about me, then there must be something else holding him back, right? And I gotta respect that. I’d never do anything to make him uncomfortable, or that’d put him at risk. My presence here is already enough for that.”

His voice trailed off at the end, and Rae could clearly see he was trying to convince himself more than her. But she was also capable of reading between the lines that Corpse wasn’t saying, and fuck. Her heart ached for him. She wanted to argue, wanted to swear up and down that there wasn't a world where Sykkuno was anything but smitten with him, but there was a bigger part of her that couldn’t fault him for his reasoning. After all, she too was guilty of believing it was only a matter of time before her past actions caught up to her; if she were in Corpse’s shoes, she would hide behind any excuse to avoid painting a target on the back of someone she cared about, no matter how flimsy the reasoning behind it was.

Impulsively, she took his hand back into hers and squeezed. Rae hoped he felt seen, like he had done for her. She felt the urge to build a wall separating their little village from the horrors of the outside, wanted to paint the world red with her name so that nobody ever dared to come and take what was hers; especially, she needed to protect this mirror image of herself, stow Corpse away in some secluded little cave until he felt secure enough to desire things again - like her canary in the slow descent into unknown territory, she’d only feel safe when she heard Corpse singing again.

Corpse squeezed her hand back, and his eyes were more focused than before, the arch of his smile a little less sad. For now, that was good enough for Rae.

________

It was a few months after that talk with Corpse when Rae felt like she was finally allowing herself to  _ settle. _

It wasn’t often she got the entire base almost to herself. She and Ash were the only ones holding the fort down, and it was nice to have some down time with her, just the girls. She missed Poki and Wendy with a fierceness that still caught her off guard sometimes, but she was also learning to love her new crew just as much.

Corpse and Ludwig were supposed to get back from their mission in a couple hours, Sykkuno had left the day before to gather some materials, and with Brooke and Bo still busy dealing with their generator after the big rainstorm from last week, it was up to Rae and Ash to fix the roof on the stables.

She wasn’t too bothered by the menial tasks that came with staying in a place for too long, and having things to do with her hands soothed her mind like nothing else. Rae also had a thing for the rainy season, so she was in a particularly good mood while trekking up the hill. She enjoyed feeling the pressure build in the atmosphere as the temperatures rose with the sun, the dark clouds amassing on the horizon slowly creeping up on their village. Rae loved how every living thing seemed to hold its breath until the first drop touched the earth, how connected it made her feel - and when the cold rain hit her face just right, it was an absolute joy to just let go.

Ever since coming to J10, Rae felt like she was learning to breathe all over again.

When Rae arrived at the stable, Ash was already perched on the roof, humming quietly to herself while accessing the damage. Rae thought the situation wasn’t so dire, but Ash was very particular about keeping things top-notch, and Corpse and Brooke had such a deep love for their animals that Rae knew that having anything other than perfect was simply unacceptable.

“Morning, Rae!” Ash greeted her and beckoned her closer. “When you come up, could you bring those ropes with you? I forgot to take them.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Rae dropped her messenger on the table, grabbing the coil of rope and some tools from the shelf. She climbed up the ladder and joined Ash, feeling the sun start to warm up her skin while they got to work. Before noon, Ash’s cheeks were pink from exertion, but there was a satisfied smile on both their faces. From their vantage point, Rae could see miles of endless land stretching before her, little patchwork fields almost ready for harvest, their little houses glowing white under the bright sun. She felt a sense of pride knowing her hands had helped build some of this.

“It’s really nice, huh? I remember meeting Sykkuno by that twisted tree, over there,” Ash commented, sitting down beside her and gesturing to the old tree near Sykkuno’s house. “It’s so strange, to think that we actually managed to survive that first winter, just us three. Corpse was so skinny, I didn’t think he’d pull through.”

Rae nodded her head, paying attention. Sykkuno always avoided this part when telling the story. “I imagine it was pretty rough on you guys. There’s a reason people group up before it starts snowing.”

“Yeah… I always got nervous when Sykkuno went out to gather supplies. I thought he would get lost in the snow and leave me stranded, alone with a man I knew nothing about. But Sykkuno always came back.” Ash smiled, and her voice carried a little in the breeze. “He’s actually really stubborn, and,  _ ah, _ I’m pretty sure he nursed Corpse back to health by sheer force of will. Thinking back, Sykkuno never did let Corpse get away with mistreating his body, even at the beginning.”

Rae laughed at that, and it was no effort at all to imagine Sykkuno’s stubbornness going against Corpse’s bullheadedness and winning. If Corpse’s strong will was an immovable object, Sykkuno’s kindness was the unstoppable force - slowly but surely chipping away at his walls until they crumbled in the face of his affection.

Rae saw the clouds gathering by the horizon, and felt the storm coming. There was a faint buzzing under her skin, and she couldn’t wait to be done with the chores of the day. She and Ash got down from the roof, Ash already going on about what they could have for lunch, but Rae paid only half a mind to what she was saying. There was a little blinking red light on her messenger that caught her attention, and she felt little tendrils of dread making the way up her throat.  _ That’s odd, _ she thought.  _ Scarra told me red means it’s a public announcement to the whole network. _

Rae had to do a double-take to make sure she read the message correctly. By the time she finished, her fingers were shaking so much she almost dropped the screen on the ground. She quickly typed a reply, and saw a flurry of people just as bewildered as her.

“Ash, come here.” Rae’s voice sounded far away even to her own ears, her mind reeling. This couldn’t be real. She shoved the messenger into Ash's hands, and felt small tremors run down her fingers. The storm was almost upon them.

“Oh, Rae, wh-what are we gonna do?” Ash was blinking back tears, but there was also something hard in her voice that helped center Rae, just a little.

Rae took the messenger back, and saw that Ludwig and Corpse were already on the move. She had been added to a new channel, and the flow of information was so fast she could barely keep up. She recognized Toast and Scarra’s name blinking up at the top along with a frankly absurd amount of other people she knew Sykkuno had been in touch with over the past year. The agreed meeting point was halfway between J10 and Hafu’s base, and Shroud had already volunteered his chopper to come pick them up.

“Tell everyone to meet us by the warehouse, Shroud should be here in fifteen.” Rae said, feeling the sort of cold detachment that only came before a big assignment. Good, at least her instincts were still sharp. “We’re gonna show those fuckers exactly what happens when they take something that’s ours.”

Ash nodded, fingers flying over the messenger, eyes focused on tracking Lud and Corpse’s position, mind probably already going over just how many weapons they could fit into Shroud’s helicopter. They ran uphill through the charged air back to their communal base, and Rae noticed absentmindedly the clouds closing up above them. She felt the pressure building inside her, the promise of a storm hanging almost as heavy as heart.  _ This will be hell to pay _ , she thought, and in her mind Goblin was already a dead, dead man. Dread and fear threatened to spill from the tight confines of her mind, and she inhaled deeply.

This time, it seemed the entire world was holding its breath along with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a big deadline coming up, so next update might take a little while, but i'll do my best to keep a consistent update schedule o/
> 
> Next one: Ludwig!


	4. Ludwig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all say thank you to [wheniwasfragile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheniwasfragile/pseuds/wheniwasfragile) for the amazing job she keeps doing! This chapter 245% better with her suggestions <3
> 
> This chapter is a little bigger than the previous ones, and I'm slightly afraid of this trend I'm setting (: Also, a small heads up: after some consideration, I decided to change some settings stuff. By the end of the week, only registered users will be able to see the story. So, if you're a guest reader and like to read at a slower pace, I highly recomend downloading it before it's locked.

However he had imagined his life going, there was no way Ludwig had ever pictured himself living like this. Not taking the whole atomic cataclysm thing that had caught everyone off guard, of course - no one had expected  _ that _ . Ludwig was thinking more along the lines of having to start his life from scratch again and again every few months or so, with as much to his name as he always had - which was to say, practically nothing. 

Ludwig was a nomad. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy being around people; quite the opposite, actually. There was nothing like the feeling of sitting around the fire with a bunch of strangers to hear their stories and see just how far a person could go to challenge the odds of this brave new world and come back to tell the tale. What he didn’t like very much though, was when the sun came up and people showed their true selves. He had lost count of how many times he had woken up shivering and alone, having been robbed of everything but the clothes on his body. 

Somehow, the big camps were worse; Ludwig couldn’t stand the strange need of some people to be assholes just for the sake of it. The world was already shitty enough, and still there were those that thrived on fear and intimidation, and Ludwig had seen his fair share of nasty stuff. He knew he could’ve been dealt a much worse hand - he was, after all, a healthy young man with sharp enough reflexes and a somewhat decent aim, but he was also a little shit, and never knew when to hold back his tongue when faced with a situation he considered unfair. Ludwig was a romantic at heart, and he had absolute certainty his whole knight in shining armor skit was gonna get him killed sooner rather than later.

He blamed his grandma for this. 

To this day, he still didn’t know if she was really his relative or not; she had never given a straight answer, and at some point it had stopped mattering to Ludwig if their connection was based on blood or not. He had very vague recollections of the time  _ before _ , and every memory that came  _ after  _ had her steady, glowing presence on it. Ludwig grew up in what used to be a small fishing town that got completely wiped after the blast, and got accustomed to having one-sided conversations all through his early teenage years while he traipsed around the village, fighting giants made up out of the old windmills up the hill. 

Grandma had done what she could to provide for him, and she more than had made up for the gaping holes in both their lives. She had filled their little house with so much - food and clothing, yes, but also poetry and music and joy.  _ Once upon a time, I used to be a writer,  _ she had often said, and Luwig had grown up in a house brimming with magic: dragons breathing fire inside the stove, every dusty corner a potential battlefield for the goblin army to be defeated, and the yellowed pages of scavenged books worth more than leprechaun’s gold. 

So, Grandma had taken him in and had crafted Ludwig into the man he was today, filling the emptiness between his bones with tales of generosity and chivalry, a gold-spun thread that wrapped around his heart, a spider’s web, enchantingly beautiful. She had taught him to look at the sky and see the stories the stars liked to tell, an ever expanding canopy of tales of  _ love  _ and  _ greatness  _ that glittered above his head and filled his eyes with endless possibilities.  _ There is a special kind of strength in looking at something so vast and choosing to believe in kindness, particularly in a world that only knows of violence,  _ she had once told him, hands caressing his hair while they had camped out on the roof. That lesson had stuck with Ludwig for years, even after the radiation had finally come and taken her from him.

Ever since then, Ludwig had been travelling by himself, carrying a battered backpack full of books that slowly had to be traded away for food and necessities. There was a small leather bound book that he couldn’t part with though, and sometimes at night he liked to trace the words his Grandma had written so long ago, carefully going over the indents of her calligraphy like a map, hoping to find some secret pathway hidden between the elegant swirls of her pen that would finally take him  _ home _ . Ludwig liked to take the little notebook wherever he went, a safety blanket but also a reminder, snapshots of his own unstable life trapped alongside Grandma’s memories of a long dead world. 

Looking back, Ludwig liked to think that meeting Sykkuno had been one of those once in a lifetime celestial events Grandma had loved to talk about. Unexpected and bright, the sheer dumb luck of their encounter burning like a star on his mind, his memory branded forever. 

It had been a harsh winter, and Ludwig was glad to finally be able to walk around the land again without worrying about being caught off guard by a sudden blizzard. He felt lighter than he had in weeks, and was relieved to finally leave Bret’s camp for good - huddling with strangers for warmth during winter was always harsh on Ludwig, and the extra week he’d gotten snowed in with Bret had certainly taken a toll on his usually upbeat disposition.

Ludwig didn’t have the faintest idea where he was headed, he just knew he had to put as much distance as possible between him and C15’s camp. 

He’d been walking for almost four hours when his legs started protesting. Resigned, Ludwig sat down near a massive boulder that overlooked the riverbank below, stretching out on the grass and relishing the crisp air blowing gently at his face. He must have dozed off, for he woke up with a start when he heard a loud splash followed by a curse. 

Heart beating like a drum inside his chest, Ludwig quickly got on his feet and started to approach the stranger, silently cursing his lack of awareness. Living inside for almost three months had its perks, but it sure didn’t help Ludwig improve the way he slept like the dead. 

“Oh, Jesus,” Ludwig heard the young man say, and the absolute lack of inflection in his tone was strangely unnerving. Ludwig could see the clear waters of the river stained red, and something sharp was glistening underwater. Ludwig splashed into the river, and the man shot him a worried glance. The current was stronger than he had anticipated. “Be ca-careful, there’s a sheet of  _ something  _ real sharp down h-here.”

Ludwig was a little taken aback. That should be the last thing the man should be concerned about right now. “I’m gonna help you, okay? Can you hold this?” Ludwig asked, offering a lumpy piece of wood he managed to grab from the river bed. The man nodded and gripped the log, and Ludwig started the slow process of ferrying them both out of the icy waters. Time seemed to stretch while they crossed back to the other side, little crystals of ice glistening like diamonds downstream towards them. It was like a thousand little needles were piercing through his skin, and Ludwig could only imagine how the other man was holding up. The wound on his leg was bleeding profusely, and he was shaking so much that Ludwig had to help him take the last steps out of water. 

They fell to the ground, exhausted little puffs of air leaving Ludwig's lungs. The stranger was looking paler by the second, but his hands were a flurry of activity: in the blink of an eye he’d already taken off his wet shirt and was making short work of ripping off the fabric of his pants to assess the damage. Upon closer inspection, the gash on his leg was even worse than Ludwig had initially thought, and the sheer amount of blood was causing his stomach to quiver. 

“C-can you please help me with this? I don’t think I’m strong e-enough right now.” His voice was oddly calm, and Ludwig took the wet rag from his bloody hands and nodded, not trusting his voice. Something like a smile flitted across his features, but morphed quickly into a grimace as Ludwig tied the piece of cloth around his thigh and pulled it tight.

The man let out a pained little noise, and Ludwig winced in sympathy. They both looked down when the stranger carefully poked at the edges of the wound, blood gushing out in small rivulets down his thigh, the steely resolve in his eyes oscillating for a moment. “M-My friend has a first-aid kit, but we were only supposed to meet later.”

His voice was low, and maybe those words weren’t meant for Ludwig, but he heard them anyway. Fuck, he wasn’t great with blood. Like, at all. But he couldn’t just leave this guy to bleed out and die alone in the middle of nowhere, his Grandma had raised him better than that. “I gotta tell ya - I don’t have a lot of experience with needles, but I-I could try. To, hm, close it? The wound.” This was his chance to do some good, and here he was being an absolute blubbering mess _. C’mon, get it together.  _ “I have a basic sewing kit on my bag.”

_ “Please.”  _ The stranger exhaled the word like a prayer, eyes closed shut as his hands fisted the makeshift tourniquet. 

_ Okay. Let’s do this. Doctor Lud is on call.  _

Ludwig nodded to himself and got up to fetch his supplies, shoving aside some dried herbs and his hunting knife until his fingers closed around the little metal tin. Thankfully, his hands had stopped trembling by the time he got back. The stranger was deathly pale, and Ludwig could see his slanted eyes fighting to stay open. This wasn’t good. 

“Hey, hey! You can’t sleep, okay?” Ludwig said, snapping his fingers a little “C’mon, what’s your name?”

“U- _ Uh _ , I’m, ah, Sykkuno.” He gasped when Ludwig rubbed the cold water on his skin, hands clawing at the grass beneath them.

“Okay, Sykkuno, stay with me, alright? This might hurt, but you can’t move. I dunno if I can hold you down and do these stitches, so you gotta help me out a little, buddy.”

Sykkuno nodded, lips in a tight line as Ludwig started the slow process of closing up the gash on his leg. Luwig tried to keep a steady stream of mindless chatter, telling Sykkuno all about his favourite hunting spots and which kind of fish he preferred raw and which was best cooked - he was trying to stay focused on Sykkuno’s sharp intakes of breath and the gurgling water just beneath them,  _ anything  _ to keep his mind off the warm stickiness of blood clinging to his fingers. 

After what felt like centuries, he finished the last stitch. He dropped back onto the grass and took deep measured breaths, the smell of copper so strong Ludwig believed his nostrils would be burned with it forever. Sykkuno seemed to be okay, all things considered, so Luwig got up on shaky legs and walked up to the riverbank, letting the freezing water wash away the red off his hands. He filled up his waterskin and brought it back to Sykkuno, who at this point was trying to sit up and take a closer look at Ludwig’s job on his leg. 

“Here, man, take this.” Ludwig gave him the waterskin, and Sykkuno said a small thanks. He saw Sykkuno poke around the reddened skin with careful touches, wetting the tip of his shirt and dabbing carefully at the dried blood. All things considered it could’ve been a lot worse and Ludwig gave himself an imaginary pat on the back for a job well done. 

“Not a lot of people would’ve done this, you know?” Sykkuno’s tiny voice cut through Ludwig’s drifting thoughts. “So, thank you, again. I owe you.”

“Nah, man. That’s cool. It was the decent thing to do.”

Sykkuno smiled weakly at that, his eyes sad and faraway. “Yeah… You’d be surprised.”

Ludwig sat down beside him, the heat of the sun finally warming his chilled skin. “So, uh, what happened? How did you injure yourself like that, man?”

“O-Oh! I was looking for some materials. There was a plane that crashed upstream a couple days ago, and I wanted to check it out. I guess my bag got too heavy though, and it slipped a-and dragged me down. I was lucky I managed to get it off me.” 

Ludwig whistled at that, and saw Sykkuno shudder a little. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, the direness of the situation must be finally catching up to him. Ludwig’s mind was filled with images of the man in front of him almost drowning, and he could only imagine how desperate he must have felt. 

“I guess… I don’t usually gather so much stuff in one go, but since Co- _ uh _ , my friend was meeting me, I, I guess I kinda overdid it a little,” Sykkuno said, scratching the back of his neck. 

The implications of that started weighing on Ludwig, and feeling more than a little awkward, he offered to retrieve Sykkuno’s bag. The man's face broke into a bright grin that softened his whole demeanor, and Ludwig could feel his heart give an interested little jump.  _ Damn, this is a fast one,  _ Ludwig thought to himself, a little exasperated. One extra downside of having such a bleeding heart was this: Ludwig had lost count of how many people he had had crushes on, but could easily recall the few that truly deserved his admiration. He was always looking for positives in people, and even though he never failed to find at least one small thing that was endearing to him, Ludwig was also pretty quick on getting his heart crushed with a healthy dose of disappointment. Ludwig had grown up on grandiose tales of loyalty and generosity, and this business of expecting people to be  _ good  _ always came back to bite him in the ass. 

He walked around for almost fifteen minutes until he spotted a brown backpack near the river bed. No wonder Sykkuno had lost his balance: the bag was full to the brim, shards of metal gleaming wickedly like dangerous teeth under the flap of the bag. Ludwig cautiously maneuvered the contents until he wasn’t at risk of accidentally beheading himself, and started the slow trek back to Sykkuno. 

He could faintly hear the soft cadence of Sykkuno’s voice intersected with something much deeper, and Ludwig hurried up his steps. Could this be the friend Sykkuno had mentioned earlier?

There was a man sitting on Ludwig’s previous spot, hands carefully inspecting Ludwig’s hurried job. They both stopped talking the moment Ludwig popped into view, and Ludwig could barely make out the man’s features before it was hidden away: sharp cheekbones and an angular nose dusted with freckles were covered by a black bandana, pale hand curling casually around the gun lying beside Sykkuno’s thigh.

“It’s okay, Corpse, he’s the one that helped me.” Sykkuno’s hand had stretched until it was almost touching the other’s, eyes filled with something Ludwig couldn’t really place. Sykkuno was wearing a baggy long sleeved shirt and looking a little less pale, and Ludwig could see a half-eaten loaf of bread sitting on his lap. 

The stranger held Sykkuno’s gaze for a little longer, nodding and going back to his previous task, having lost all interest in everything that wasn’t Sykkuno. Ludwig dropped the bag by his feet, taking the time to file away everything he could glimpse from their new companion. The careful way his hands touched and probed at Sykkuno’s skin, how his eyes held such an intense gaze, his precise moves and deep voice. Ludwig saw all that, but pretended he didn’t. He hadn’t gone so long living alone without learning the value held by some secrets.

Sykkuno was trying to engage him in conversation, nudging his shoulder lightly. “So, your camp’s around here? I didn’t know there were people living so close to the wreckage, otherwise I-I’d have invited you all to come along.”

“I’m not from here, I’m a nomad actually.”

“Oh, that - that must be nice, I guess?” Sykkuno said, and Luwig couldn’t help but laugh at how forced his tone of voice sounded. Corpse huffed what could be considered a small chuckle, and out of the corner of his eye, Ludwig saw the man start to slowly wrap some bandages around the wound, eyes checking Sykkuno’s reaction every time the gauze went over the fresh stitches. “Don’t you ever get lonely?”

“Yeah, sometimes… I guess I can see the appeal, but it's not really my thing. I’ve been around for a while, and living in the big camps can be pretty rough too,” Ludwig said, remembering the time he’d had to leave Beast’s settlement in the dead of the night because some hotshot wannabe had been offended by his opinions on basic human decency. 

Sykkuno nodded his head, lost in his own memories as well. They sat like that for a while, and Ludwig kept stealing glances at Corpse’s careful work. Ludwig might not have been living on this particular island for a long time, but the only way he wouldn’t recognize that name was if he’d been living under a rock for the past couple years. To this day, people still whispered stories about him. _Corpse is made of smoke and teeth_ , they’d say, voices only loud enough to be heard over the cackling of a campfire. _A_ _demon that crawled out of the depths of the earth to finish what the radiation started._ He was ruthless, and would do anything for the right price. Just like any regular Joe, Ludwig had been afraid of ever meeting Goblin’s gunslinger, and had slept a little easier when rumors about his disappearance had spread across the land. 

But something wasn’t quite adding up. This man in front of him had the chilling voice everyone had mentioned, yes, but he also seemed so careful towards Sykkuno. So concerned and attentive, so achingly worried. So  _ human _ .  __

Ludwig knew what it was like to be an outsider, and he also knew how quick people were to make assumptions, felt how the judgmental stares and words branded skin just as easily as the edge of a blade. The only thing he’d judge Corpse on would be his actions, Ludwig decided - and from what he could see, he wouldn’t find any faults in that. 

He saw him give one final look at his handiwork before getting up and offering a hand to Sykkuno. “C’mon Sy, we better get going, or we won’t make it back home before it gets too dark. We still have to figure out how you’re riding back with these stitches.”

Sykkuno nodded, clumsily getting to his feet, a look of pain crossing his fair features when he tried putting some weight on his injured side. Corpse’s hands hovered over his waist, ready to catch him at a moment’s notice. 

“I-I don't think I’ll manage to climb on a horse like this,” Sykkuno said, hands grabbing Corpse’s forearm for support. 

“That’s okay, we’ll figure it out,” Corpse said gently, shouldering his duffle and eyeing Sykkuno’s much bigger bag. Corpse heaved a sigh, and looked at Ludwig for the first time since he arrived, dark eyes unreadable. “Thank you for helping him. We all owe you, man.”

“No worries. As I told Sykkuno, it was the right thing to do.” Ludwig smiled, and started packing up his things. His heart gave an odd little lurch.  _ This day was so strange,  _ Ludwig thought, placing his sewing kit bag into the bag and securing its fastenings. Not many hours ago he had been itching to get away from people and disappear into the early spring air, yet here he was. Stalling and unsure, craving something he couldn’t even name yet. 

He steeled himself and turned around, waving a little as a goodbye, tongue heavy with so many unnamed feelings clogging his throat. He took a couple steps but stopped short when he heard Sykkuno call his name. 

“Hey, Ludwig, wait! I-I know that you don’t like big camps, and you absolutely have no obligation whatsoever but - I mean, ah, you could come back with us?” He sounded so earnest. Ludwig found himself wanting to say yes. “You s-saved my life today. Let me pay you back with a hot meal, it’s the least we can offer you.”

“I, ah, appreciate the offer. But don’t wanna get in the way, guys, I’d only slow you down,” he tried, even though his heart wasn’t on it. 

“You can ride back on Sykkuno’s horse, you wouldn’t be a hassle at all,” Corpse said, pulling Sykkuno a little closer after his body started swaying a little. 

“Yeah, Corpse is right. I can’t really ride with a leg like this, we-we could share! You’d be doing us a favour, really.”

Corpse’s eyes narrowed, and Ludwig could almost feel how hard he was trying to keep his voice casual. “Actually, you come with me, Sykkuno, and,  _ ah _ , Ludwig can carry all the stuff you gathered. Sounds good?”

The last part was directed at Ludwig, both Sykkuno and Corpse looking expectantly at him. They cut an impressive tableau, their demeanors a study in contrast that should clash something fierce. But there was also something else there, some kind of spark in their words, a much softer prospect than what Ludwig had ever been offered. They didn’t ask for his loyalty or demanded any kind of commitment,  _ offering  _ something else instead. Unassuming kindness like this was a shooting star, and Ludwig was glad to have caught it before it faded away in the firmament. “Y-yeah, okay. I guess I could use a warm meal after a day like this.”

Sykkuno’s answering smile was a beautiful thing, and Ludwig was ready to take this last leap of faith. 

________

He had seen how Scarra’s posture changed and the subtle widening of Toast’s eyes, and knew in his heart something must have gone really wrong. 

Of course, he had never expected it to be Sykkuno.

**_[Goblin]_** _We’ve taken Sykkuno_

 ** _[Goblin]_** _He’s our hostage now, you all better play nice_

The last half hour had been a blur of activity. Ludwig felt like he was having an out of body experience.

He could almost see himself going through the motions of strapping into the helicopter, movements on autopilot. His hands kept hovering over the messenger pad, eyes glossing over the stream of messages that just  _ wouldn’t stop.  _ It seemed like everyone on the island had something to say about Sykkuno getting taken, except Goblin himself. 

_ No news is good news,  _ Ludwig kept repeating Toast’s words like a mantra inside his head.  _ If they wanted to kill Sykkuno, they wouldn’t have sent us that message. He is safe. He has to be.  _

Through the fog on his mind, Ludwig could feel the phantom fingers of panic squeezing the base of his throat. He tried to fight it, he didn’t have the luxury of running away from this right now. His people were hanging onto sanity by a thread, they needed someone to be calm and rational about this. Corpse usually took that role, but when it came to Sykkuno, all bets were off - actually, all of them were a little biased when it came to Sykkuno.  _ Rae is too emotional,  _ Ludwig thought, starting to list them all off in his head.  _ Bo doesn’t know everyone’s tells yet; Karl and Brooke are too young; Ash isn’t the best at fast decisions. It has to be me. _ __

The ransom they’d asked was absurd in its simplicity: Corpse, in exchange for Sykkuno. A one man army in exchange for the land’s most promising weapon’s dealer. It was kinda poetic, in a twisted way that only Goblin would find funny. Of course Corpse had agreed. If they hadn’t been in the middle of a meeting with Toast and Hafu and many more witnessess, Ludwig was certain he wouldn’t have been able to stop Corpse from going in alone on what would basically be a suicide mission. 

It was fucking stupid of him, but more often than not Ludwig forgot just how  _ terrifying  _ Corpse could be; his eyes were wild, and he looked like a trapped beast pacing around the small confines of the helicopter, jaw tight and voice wrecked as he went over plans with everyone else. The way he’d coldly pointed a gun at Toast’s head and ordered to be taken to Goblin’s base was a harsh reminder of just how thin the thread holding them all together was. Ludwig would be forever indebted to Hafu, having deescalated the situation and hatching a plan in less than five minutes. They were now headed to a middle point, where they’d meet with the rest of J10 and the small army of sympathizers Sykkuno had unknowingly amassed over the months. 

_ It has to be me,  _ Ludwig kept thinking.  _ We are all fighters, but someone has to be in control. We can’t lose sight of the bigger picture here.  _ Ludwig had a feeling this wasn’t a spur of the moment thing; Goblin must have some kind of scheme in place to make sure he’d get out of this on top. No one in their right mind would kidnap Sykkuno just for shits and giggles - no one should be kidnapping Sykkuno, period. He was respected and well-connected, and it didn’t really surprise Ludwig just how many people were ready to go to war for him. 

Rae and Shroud had a map open already, and everyone gathered close to discuss strategy. They had been at it for a couple of minutes when every single messenger in the clearing softly pinged. 

There was a shift in the air, like a constant buzzing suddenly stopped and Ludwig could swear he was  _ hearing  _ the sound of silence for the first time. Corpse was the first one to react, grabbing the screen closest to him and freezing on the spot. Ludwig saw his eyes narrow, and he could  _ feel  _ the violence coming from him like waves.

**_[Greek]_ ** _ We’re taking away his clothes. Better hurry, Corpse  _

**_[Greek]_ ** _ Or else we’ll be getting more fun ideas _

Corpse let out a frustrated yell, fists punching their makeshift table and almost splintering it in half. “Fuck this. We have to start moving,  _ now. _ ”

Ash and Rae had twin looks of determination on their grim faces, guns ready and loaded. Ludwig fell into line by their side, and saw the rest of J10 following suit, Corpse’s rage a beacon guiding their steps into unknown territory. 

Toast shook his head. “You’ll die and Sykkuno will still be at their mercy. We have to think things through, that’s how we’ll get him back.”

“We’re wasting time here! Greek is - Fuck, I can’t let Sykkuno get hurt because of me.” Corpse had a manic energy around him, and even though Ludwig could somewhat see Toast’s point, his skin was crawling at the thought of Sykkuno at Greek’s mercy. He could easily imagine how much worse this was for Corpse. “I have to go. If you guys hadn’t stopped me earlier, Sykkuno would already be out of there.”

“This isn’t your fault Corpse!” Rae’s voice cut through his rant, jaw set and eyes blazing. “We all want to rescue him, but you have to bring your A game. Cool your head. We won’t get Sykkuno back if you’re sloppy out there.”

Corpse sent Rae a look that would’ve made Ludwig run for the hills, but she stood her ground, unflinching. Ash sighed and stepped between them, voice firm. “We’ll stick to Hafu’s plan. It’s the best we’ve got and I’m done gambling with Sykkuno’s safety. He’s been with them for god knows how long, we gotta get him back.” 

Corpse and Rae nodded in agreement, and their team started moving before the others could start talking again. They were getting Sykkuno back, and the rest of the island would get a glimpse of what exactly was lying dormant under the sunny hills of J10. 

The first moments of their operation were absolute chaos. 

Goblin’s people were completely unprepared for the onslaught. Ludwig saw the sentries try to sound the alarm, but Scarra and Toast got them first. They were raining down bullets at every single guard at the barriers, and it wasn’t long before the outer posts were taken by them. Ludwig couldn’t believe it: it really looked like Goblin’s people were caught off guard by their arrival.  _ What were they thinking?  _ Ludwig thought to himself, watching bewildered as some soldiers showed up without pieces of their armor, eyes wide and stances sloppy.  _ Didn’t they expect us to fight back? Did Goblin really underestimate us this much?  _ He felt his rage simmering, dangerously close to reach a boiling point. How dare they take Sykkuno like he was nothing, like there wouldn’t be any consequences whatsoever to their reckless actions.

Ludwig and the rest of his crew arrived at the gates unscatched, and Corpse was quick to step through the metal gates of Goblin’s hideout. They split up from Hafu’s people. Ludwig, Corpse, Rae and Ash went right while she went the opposite direction. 

More guards kept trickling through the corridors, but they were no match for them. 

Corpse looked like a small panther, and he moved like the night. He was much faster than Ludwig had anticipated, flowing through one enemy to the next like he was made of smoke. He switched from knives to guns to fists effortlessly, eyes focused and sharp, mind never straying from the task. He was brutally efficient, and Ludwig couldn’t help but shiver at the thought of just what lurked beneath his calm exterior. 

“They got Goblin,” Ash’s voice rang out through the corridor, and Ludwig felt he could breathe a little easier. This was good. That only left Greek unaccounted for. “Bo picked up a signal coming from downstairs. Thinks it might be coming from Sykkuno’s messenger. ”

“Alright guys, let’s go!” Rae exclaimed, taking the lead. The four of them raced down the stairs, Rae cackling like a maniac when they crossed paths with some soldiers trying to escape. 

If Corpse was a silent killer, Rae relished in the attention. She slashed enemies left and center, her axe dancing in the air like it weighted nothing. Rae wanted to be seen, to be remembered. Tonight, they all did. __

_ I dare you to do this again,  _ her eyes seemed to say, and Ludwig felt the same righteous fury, relentless, overflowing. They all wanted to leave a scar so deep in the land no one would be foolish enough to mess with them a second time. Ludwig was burning from inside out, hot and heavy, his center glowing. Their rage was the molten core at the heart of a star. And little pacifist J10 was ready to explode.

They came to a stop in front of a reinforced door. Ludwig could hear faint noises coming from behind it, and something eerily similar to Sykkuno’s voice asking someone to  _ stop, please _ . The four of them moved like a unit, Corpse, Ludwig and Rae taking cover while Ash’s grenade drew a perfect arch through the air, followed by a blinding explosion. 

Ludwig trailed behind Corpse through the threshold, and didn’t have more than a second to take in the scene before Corpse was on Greek, hands on his throat, voice dangerously low and asking _what_ _he’d done to Sykkuno._ He could hear Rae’s sharp intake of breath, and he knew the sight of Sykkuno cowering on the bed, wrists shackled and body practically naked would haunt them both for the foreseeable future. Corpse backed Greek into the opposite wall, his body a barrier between Sykkuno and his captor. Greek’s whole frame spasmed, gurgled pleas bubbling out of his throat, but Corpse’s rage was inexorable and his hands kept holding Greek up by the throat until his body went limp in his grasp. Ludwig watched as Greek’s body fell into a heap on the floor, and couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. Finally, this nightmare was going to be over.

“Oh, Sykkuno, I-I’m so sorry.” Corpse’s voice sounded wrecked, and he stepped over Greek’s dead body without sparing it a second glance. He took Sykkuno’s face in his hands, wiping away the tears with trembling fingers, foreheads touching in a gesture so tender, so at odds with the blood and violence still clinging to the air, that Ludwig’s heart ached for them.

_ So, this is what it feels like, to be in the middle of a story,  _ Ludwig mused, the last remnants of adrenaline rushing through his system. He took some deep breaths, feeling his body deflate as the sense of urgency was slowly replaced by something much smaller, easier to handle. Relief unfurled from his chest like a balm, easing his overworked senses.  _ This is horrible, I hate it.  _

Playing hero wasn’t half as much fun as the stories had made him believe. Pure, unadulterated fear tasted quite different when it was not filtered by pretty words and distilled into homeopathic doses of yellowed pages. Ludwig didn’t want to go through something so jarring like this again, and looking into his friends’ eyes he saw that same desperate wish reflecting back at him. 

_ Never again _ . He’d make sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I usually post this before bed, and it's super nice to wake up to all the comments and kudos. Thank you for the amazing response, you're the best! 
> 
> IRL is still kicking my ass, but I'm really excited for next chapter!!! It will probably be out by the 20th, and will feature Corpse's POV :D
> 
> Stay safe and take care!


	5. Corpse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, many many thanks to [wheniwasfragile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheniwasfragile/pseuds/wheniwasfragile) for the careful feedback and awesome suggestions (and slight handholding)! You're amazing <3
> 
> It's been a while, so here's a reminder: please don't send fic to any cc or their friends. This is a work of fiction, and I don't think this ship is real. The story will be taken down if they comment on it. Please don't make it weird guys!

It was actually Dave that’d gotten him his first gun.  
  
Corpse was but a kid at the time, wearing his anger like an oversized armour, razor sharp and deadly. Like everyone else, he had been alone ever since he could remember, always on the move, always fighting: the cold, the animals, the people. Everything was a threat, and distrust was an instinct deeply ingrained to his brain. 

Corpse had been scavenging for food in a ransacked grocery store when he heard the crack of a shotgun followed by some howling from outside. Quick as a whip, he shouldered his backpack and ran to the small opening on the ceiling, feet pounding the ground in the beat of his frantic heart. Climbing up to the roof, he could see a lanky figure coming up from the opposite side, and Corpse’s hand twitched in the direction of the knife strapped to his belt.

The guy finally managed to drag his body over the ledge, letting out a relieved sigh and dropping his shotgun on the floor with an audible clank. From this distance, he appeared to be just a few years older than Corpse, with shoulder-length hair and crooked glasses that reflected the pale moonlight.

Corpse had started to climb off the roof, trying his best to make as little noise as possible. From his experience, people took his small frame as an invitation to try and take advantage of him; they mistook his stringy limbs and averted eyes as something to be exploited, weak and fragile. He always made sure to set them straight, relished in it even, but right now the stranger had a gun and Corpse wasn’t stupid to see that as anything other than a threat. 

Corpse had almost made it through the last obstacle when his foot caught on some wires and he tripped. The loud noises made the stranger jump, but he made no move to reach for the weapon. “Hey! Kid! Where are you going, are you insane? There are coyotes down the road. I tried to scare them off, but I’d stay here if I were you.”

 _Fuck_. Corpse could hear faint howling in the distance, but with the wind coming from the other direction it was difficult to assess just how far away they really were. 

He’d rather take a shot at staying with the stranger. Against just one dude, he at least had a chance of coming out alive. With a pack of coyotes, not so much. 

“You’re not really considering getting down there just to get away from me, right?” The stranger asked, voice betraying just how insane he thought that idea was. “C’mon, get back here. I’ve been told I’m great company, actually, and I even have some food we could share.”

His treacherous stomach chose that moment to let out an embarrassingly loud growl, and Corpse looked away from the stranger’s clear eyes, ears burning. Rummaging through his bag, he let out a triumphant little whoop, offering Corpse half of a sandwich. He rested his back on the metal structure behind him, the picture of nonchalance, and started digging into his own food. 

“Not much of a talker, are you? That’s okay. I can get the ball rolling.” The stranger asked, motioning for Corpse to get closer. He took three measured steps and sat down across the other, with enough distance between them that Corpse could bolt if needed be, eyes never straying too long from the gun. He took the offered food, and tried to eat it as slowly as possible. Save from some expired beans and the occasional wild mushroom, his stomach had been running on empty for days, and he didn’t wanna embarrass himself by throwing up in front of the other man. “I’m Dave, by the way. Are you from around here, kid? I was actually looking for a friend of mine, we were supposed to meet near the gas station but I guess she got held up somewhere else.”

“Corpse.” His voice cut through Dave’s rambling, surprising both of them.

Dave’s pale eyebrows arched on his forehead, a small astonished smile making it’s way across his face. “...I’m sorry?”

“My name, it’s, uh, Corpse. And, t-thanks for the sandwich.” Corpse felt the heat creeping up his cheeks, and took another bite to distract himself. He didn’t know why he had said his name, or even took the sandwich in the first place. Corpse _hated_ small-talk, absolutely despised people, and avoided interaction at all costs. _Maybe small personality changes are a side effect of starvation that I didn’t know about_ Corpse thought, angry at having given something of himself away so easily. _Maybe I’ll start singing or dancing in the moonlight with him next._

“No worries, man. I have some water too. Here.” Dave passed him a battered thermos, and Corpse could swear he felt the metal burning his skin as he took it. The water went down his throat heavy like rocks, a brittle avalanche clogging his windpipe. He was used to fighting tooth and nail for things, and this was all wrong. Corpse felt undeserving. 

Somehow, they find themselves talking through the night, Corpse on the lookout with Dave’s gun between his tense fingers, his own walls crumbling slowly and giving away completely in the face of Dave’s genuine curiosity. By dawn he’s ready to leave with him to go looking for his friend. 

When they find Mykie a couple days later, Corpse feels like an unknown missing piece of his battered heart is finally slotting into place.

  
  


***

  
  


After Mykie and Dave, after Goblin and Greek, Corpse had found it easier to be alone and not be held accountable for anyone other than himself, his actions his own to atone for.

And then, Ash and Sykkuno happened.

Ash and Sykkuno kinda reminded Corpse of Dave and Mykie, back in the old days before everything had gone to shit and Corpse started working with people like Goblin.

He saw Dave in the way Ash laughed, loud and free and unapologetic. He saw how protective and kind they both were, how welcoming, and remembered waking up with Mykie’s jacket around his bony shoulders, how she’d laugh at Dave’s awkward jokes, no matter how awful they were. Corpse found himself missing them a lot, their absence like a scabbed wound he’d never truly really healed from. They’d asked him to _please come away with them_ , and the regret of staying had been slowly eating away at his heart ever since their tense goodbye.

But Ash and Sykkuno. Corpse had never been privy to this kind of relationship before, had never been treated with so much care, receiving so much and being asked so little. His memories of finding them were fuzzy, but he liked to believe his feverish mind heard their voices and found some sort of kinship there, an echo of the family he once had. He’d be forever indebted to them, not only for saving him from starvation and certain death, but also for bringing him back to _himself._ Ash was a great girl, and Corpse felt a sort of protective fondness towards her, like she was the little sister he never had. He admired her silent strength, the steel resolve that glinted on her eyes everytime Sykkuno left them to gather supplies, the way her hands never stayed still for too long but were always precise, meticulous in their care.

And then there was Sykkuno. Corpse felt like Sykkuno had carved a permanent home in his thoughts, occupying every tiny little nook and corner of his soul. Suddenly, his consciousness was filled to the brim with tidbits of information about the other man: the way his eyes scrunched up into adorable half-moons when he smiled; the soft cadence of his voice late at night, spinning tales of his misadventures when looking for supplies; his sharp mind and calm demeanor; his wicked sense of humor. His elegant hands, his lovely crooked smile. 

With the care of a goldsmith polishing his most prized jewels, Corpse had been carefully arranging all the little pieces of information he’d managed to gather about Sykkuno, and the mosaic they made was nothing short of beautiful. 

Corpse had yet to tell them about his past, but Ash and Sykkuno seemed unfazed by his refusal to go beyond the general narrative he’d shared with them. They knew he had been hurt and wandered the land seeking some sort of refuge, ending up on their doorstep days later, starved and delirious. He’d later found out he’d introduced himself as Corpse, which was a fucking rookie’s mistake of his feverish mind, but Ash had seemed to find it really funny, and refused every attempt Corpse made to change it. When Corpse had brought up the subject of his name with Sykkuno though, Corpse could swear he had seen a flicker of _something_ in Sykkuno’s dark eyes, but it had vanished too quickly for Corpse to make any sense of it. 

Sykkuno was too perceptive for his own good, and Corpse should have left way sooner. 

“Corpse, hey, wait!” Sykkuno sounded winded, and he looked like he’d ran a marathon. His hair was wild, and he had a bit of grass stuck on his forearms, like he’d fallen down somewhere along the way. Corpse dutifully ignored the small pang that thought sent through his heart, and slowed his pace down until Sykkuno more or less caught up to him. “Ash said you were leaving?”

Corpse’s chest constricted at being caught, steps faltering. Damn. Sykkuno wasn’t supposed to be back until the end of the day. He slowly turned back around to face Sykkuno, steeling his nerves and his heart for the confrontation he’d tried his damnedest to avoid.

Sykkuno’s hurt was almost a physical thing standing between them. “Were you going away without saying goodbye to m-me?”

“If you guys knew who I was, you’d never have let me stay.” Corpse’s voice was low, and he let out a huge breath, doing his best to say the lines he’d practiced all week. Saying it all to Ash had hurt like a motherfucker, but he knew Sykkuno would be way worse. Corpse didn’t dare look him the eye; if he did, this would be over in a heartbeat. “You and Ash, you guys should be relieved. You’ll be safer without me here.”

“What do you mean? I don’t understand it. I thought -- uh, did we do something wrong?” Sykkuno sounded lost, and Could feel his eyes on him. “Did I -- If I offended you or something, I’m s-sorry Corpse.” 

_Fuck, why he had to make this so difficult._ “This has nothing to do with you, Sykkuno, go back to the house. You should’ve turned me away back then, I’m nothing but a nuisance to you guys.” _Oh no_. Corpse could feel himself veering off the careful script he’d constructed, words tumbling out of his mouth without his permission. “Please, promise me you’ll be more careful next time you find a stranger halfway to death. You’re smarter than that.” 

Corpse chose that moment to steal a glance at Sykkuno’s face, and was appalled at what he found. Sykkuno looked sullen, jaw tense and posture radiating an energy that just felt _wrong_ somehow. “Oh, so not only you’re leaving like a _coward_ , you also wanna tell me what to do? Is that it?” 

“I -- What?”

To say Corpse was out of his depth was an understatement. In the months he’d stayed with Sykkuno, he’d never seen him lose his cool once. Sure, sometimes he got mad and argued with both Corpse and Ash, but he was always composed. Sykkuno was the kind of man to mull things over in the privacy of his own head, filtering his feelings into words until he could distill them into something manageable and bite-sized. For fucks sake, he’d never heard him like that, never thought it’d be possible for the kind soothing voice he’d grown used to be so low, smooth as silk; Sykkuno sounded dangerous, and for a moment Corpse felt like prey under his dark gaze, trapped and utterly defenseless. 

“To hell with that, Corpse. I know, okay? I _know”_ Sykkuno was closing the distance between them, hands fisted at his side, eyes burning like coals. “I’ve always known who you were, and I helped you anyway. I--I recognized you, that first day. I’ve always known. You can drop the act.”

“You recognized me?” Corpse was backed away into a tree, the sting of the bark against his back a sharp reminder of just how out of sorts he was. He’d never backed down from anything in his life, yet here he was. Cowering in the face of Sykkuno’s rage. “I’m a wanted man, Sykkuno, and I--I’m not a good person, okay! I’ve done some pretty nasty shit I’m not proud of.”

Sykkuno opened his mouth like he was going to interrupt, but Corpse felt like he needed to get it all out in the open. Scare him into believing him. “Fuck. You’re unbelievable. I’m a murderer, I used to _kill people for a living._ How could you trust me with your home? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? If I was anyone else, you guys would’ve been dead by now.”

“No, stop. You don’t get to do this.” Sykkuno said, taking a deep breath and centering himself. His anger had abated somehow, but he seemed far from finished. “People talked a lot about you, okay? I’ve heard the stories about a cold-blooded killer that did unspeakable things and had no remorse, and the stories only grew worse after he disappeared.” Here, he took another daring step forward, and was well into Corpse’s personal bubble, filling his vision with everything _Sykkuno_ . “But I also heard there was a man that dared to defy Goblin down in the mines. He -- he refused to kill a bunch of people and saved them before it all collapsed, got Goblin out too, before completely vanishing. Of course, these are only rumors, but I-I like to believe they’re the same man -- I _know_ they are.” 

_Of course Sykkuno would know about that._ Corpse’s disagreements with Goblin’s team had been escalating for a while, and everything had finally come to a head on the day Greek, him and the others were visiting the mines. He didn’t regret saving the miners, but he did regret going back to help Mendo, and if he could get a do-over on the whole situation he would make sure Goblin and Greek stayed behind during the explosion. Of course Sykkuno had heard about that incident, and decided to disregard everything else about Corpse, choosing to believe the fleeting moment of light instead of a life of darkness. 

Corpse didn’t ever stand a chance against Sykkuno.

He was _so close_ , Corpse couldn’t even look at him properly. Like the blinding sun at its peak, or the engine-red of a campfire, it hurt to look at Sykkuno like this. Corpse felt like he could go blind at any second, the after image of Sykkuno forever burned on the back of his eyelids. 

“You’re not safe with me, Sykkuno.” His voice sounded defeated to his own ears, and Corpse just wanted the ground to swallow him up, a bolt of lightning to strike him down. Anything would be more merciful than going through with this. “I--I can’t. There’s still people after me, there’s a goddamn bounty still hanging over my head and I don’t - I won’t put you guys in danger.” 

Corpse blinked and felt Sykkuno’s hands close around his trembling one, the warmth a balm to his frayed nerves. “I wanted to give you a chance back then, and I don’t regret any second of it. Please, y-you don’t have to go.” 

“I, ah, might have a plan -- more like an idea I’ve been bouncing around since last winter. If you really want to leave, I-I won’t force you to s-stay.” Sykkuno was looking deep into his eyes now, searching, asking for something Corpse wasn’t sure he had in him. “But if you’re doing this just cuz you’re scared, I--I can help you. Just, hear me out?”

In the last couple months since being rescued, they’d grown quite close, and at this point Sykkuno was almost an expert at reading the minute changes in Corpse’s expressions and understanding what he couldn’t put into words. His smile was small and fragile, full of a cautious hope, like the first ray of sunshine to break through the clouds in winter. “Corpse, listen to me. I--I want this. I want to help you, the same way I did Ash, and Bo, I, _huh_ , I want you here. Do you -- do you want to stay?”

Corpse had spent so long just reacting to things, his actions a call and response to the fucked up world around him. He had to wonder, had anyone ever offered him something this easily? More than that: had Corpse ever wanted anything as much as this?

He nodded his head minutely, and the smile that bloomed on Sykkuno’s face was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

________

It had been almost a month since Sykkuno got taken by Goblin, but Corpse still felt it simmering under his skin, the rage and hopelessness, the absolute need to have him back, safely tucked in their home. Sykkuno’s kidnapping had upended their lives, and most of them were learning to make peace with the grim reminder of just how fragile everything really was.

That was the thing about outliving the apocalypse, Corpse supposed: you had to learn to be flexible and roll with the punches. 

Ludwig had taken the lead after they rescued Sykkuno, stepping into the role of a ruthless but fair negotiator like he was born to carry that mantle. Taking out Goblin and his crew left a big power vacuum, and Ludwig had been working closely with Toast and Hafu to figure out what to do. Looking back, Corpse could see how careful was the web Sykkuno had been weaving, delicate threads connecting hand-picked allies that he was all too pleased to call friends. Ludwig sure had some big shoes to fill, but Sykkuno had laid out a clear path for him to follow, and he was doing it so gracefully Corpse wouldn’t be surprised if he started playing a more active role as the face of J10 from now on. Toast’s input had also been invaluable, and Corpse was certain whoever ended up taking care of Goblin’s mines would be an ally they could count on. 

Rae had taken it upon herself to make sure everyone else had a basic understanding of how to fire a gun. _How can they live at Sykkuno’s base if they can’t tell the difference between a double barrel and a Thompson?_ she’d asked Corpse, eyes glinting in the soft glow of the bonfire, still jumpy even after a week had already flown by. Ash then assumed the role of Rae’s second in command, and her main job was to make sure no one got too comfortable handling guns inside their perimeter. They were still a pacifist camp afterall. 

Corpse’s own routine hadn’t changed much. He had always gravitated towards Sykkuno, seeking him out in the midmorning to share a snack or the warmth of his hearth by the late afternoon; the only difference now was that he didn’t have to waste time going around their land searching for him under the pretense of wanting help with something or other. Ever since that night, Sykkuno had taken to staying glued to his side, always at arm’s reach. 

Soon, Corpse knew, they’d have to talk about it.

But Corpse was a weak, weak man, and the urge to cater to Sykkuno’s every whim always overrode his own sense of self-preservation, even in the beginning. Sykkuno had always been a very self-sufficient man, and it was rare to be able to do anything _for him_ , so Corpse took every chance he got to spoil him and relished in any small comfort he could bring Sykkuno, especially after everything that had gone down. It had all started on their first night back, everyone still reeling from the chaos of the last twenty-four hours. After countless reassurances and whispered “ _Guys, really, I’m okay. I just wanna sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.”_ Sykkuno had made a beeline to their shared home, frenzied hands going straight to stripping the beddings like a madman. Corpse was caught unaware, frozen in the eye of the storm Sykkuno was stirring up, watching as he bunched up all their quilts and pillows in the corner near their little fireplace, blankets thrown haphazardly over their old sleeping bags that were kept around more out of nostalgia than necessity.  
  
“Corpse, I - can you, come h-here, please?” Sykkuno’s voice sounded stranded, and Corpse approached him carefully so as to not make any sudden movements. Sykkuno had his back to the wall, posture tense like a bowstring, a bird on the verge of taking flight. 

“What’s wrong, Sy?” Corpse sat beside him on the nest of blankets, hyper-aware of the distance separating their bodies. In all these months of sharing a home, Corpse had always been extra careful to keep his distance, not wanting to put a strain on their relationship with his stubborn feelings, only ever going as far as Sykkuno would let him: he’d be forever turning in Sykkuno’s direction, the way flowers tilt their heads towards the sun, like following him was the most natural thing. Always receptive, but careful to never take the lead. 

Corpse felt Sykkuno’s hesitant touch on his hand, fingers trembling and uncertain. 

_Fuck this._

In a bout of bravery he intertwined their fingers together. They were both silent, and Corpse couldn’t help but wonder if Sykkuno felt the same conflicting emotions crashing like waves against his own heart. The air felt charged with promise, Corpse’s heartbeat going crazy fast as he tried to remain in control of the emotions threatening to drown him. Corpse was a sandcastle easily toppled by the waves of his own emotions, Sykkuno’s voice a siren’s call stirring the deep waters of his resolve. 

“I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I-I close my eyes and all I can see is Greek,“ Sykkuno’s voice was tiny, hand shaking in Corpse’s grasp. “I was ready to be... roughed up a bit, thought they’d scare me a little, but I-I never expected them to -- to take m-my clothes. And, _ah_ , the way Greek kept _looking_ at me…” 

Corpse could feel Sykkuno’s whole body shudder, and in his mind he was back at that tiny room on Goblin’s base, killing Greek all over again. “I’m so, so sorry, Sy. No one deserves to go through that, especially not you.”

Sykkuno started crying, body collapsing inwards like a castle of cards, folding in itself. Corpse froze, trapped and powerless in his need to go back in the past and prevent all of this from happening. His mind was filled with static, and a thousand needles were piercing his chest as he watched Sykkuno’s silent tears cascade down his pale face, hand gripping Corpse’s like a lifeline.

“Please, what -- Tell me what to do, I can’t -- let me help you.” Corpse whispered, utterly defeated. _What could I possibly do now_ , his treacherous mind asked _if I didn’t even manage to stop this from happening?_ What good was Corpse’s promise to keep his distance if his mere living near Sykkuno had almost cost him his life?

“Can you h-hold me? Please?”

Sykkuno’s delicate question rattled Corpse to his core. He nodded minutely, frozen, baffled, amazed, and could only watch as Sykkuno all but flung himself into his arms, the impact toppling them over the mess of blankets underneath. 

They ended up falling asleep like that, Corpse’s chest to Sykkuno’s back, hands intertwined over his heart. Corpse couldn’t believe, didn’t ever dare dream he’d get to have this; Sykkuno’s beauty was made ethereal by the moonlight, and Corpse was inescapably, irrevocably in love. 

The morning after, Corpse had woken first, Sykkuno draped over him like the world’s warmest blanket. The day before, he had seen Sykkuno’s face twisted in fear, wiped terrified tears from his eyes, hands clumsy and glass-like, on the verge of breaking; as the sun filtered through their curtains, Corpse watched his brow wrinkle, little soft noises escaping from his parted lips, perfect mess of hair resting lightly on his shoulder, warm and steady and _present_. Home, at last.

 _Sykkuno is safe,_ he kept repeating like a mantra, hands restless on their mission to commit all of him to memory: the slope of his nose, the delicate curve of his jaw, the grooves of his ribcage that fit perfectly between the spaces of Corpse’s fingers. 

Sykkuno had woken up not too long after him, and the smile he gave Corpse was such a soft precious thing that Corpse felt his heart stutter at the sight. It was not new, this way he cared so deeply for Sykkuno, but it was the first time Corpse had simply given up and allowed himself to bask in it. Sykkuno was such a bright presence in his life that Corpse was running out of dark places to hide from his feelings. For a few precious moments he let himself hold Sykkuno just a tiny bit closer, tucking his chin on the curve of his shoulder and rolling them to the side, breathing in and out, enjoying the pliant warmth that was Sykkuno’s body curving into his own. 

“I’m so glad we got you back.” Corpse whispered on Sykkuno’s skin like a secret. He felt Sykkuno’s answering little hum reverberating through their chests, and he could feel his restless mind begin to settle at last.

“It’s nice to be home.” Sykkuno said, voice low and soft, still halfway into sleep, hugging Corpse closer. 

  
  
Every night since then, Corpse had been falling asleep with Sykkuno safely tucked between himself and the wall, Corpse’s back the last line of defence from anyone that would dare take him away again. In the protective circle of his arms, Sykkuno had finally started to open up about the details of his kidnapping, and more than once Corpse caught himself wishing he had taken time to finish Greek off _properly_.

“They didn’t recognize me, not at first.... But then G-Greek showed up, and he knew exactly who I was. Goblin kinda held him back for a w-while.” Sykkuno had said, dark eyes reflecting the moonlight seeping in through the small gaps on the ceiling. Corpse kept drawing little circles on his waist, the need to make sure the other was alive and well overriding any insecurities he might still be harboring. “I knew you guys had some history and I-I was so worried you’d do something stupid, Corpse. I could -- I can handle getting beaten up a little, but I’d never forgive myself if you’d gotten hurt trying to help me.”

_Oh Sykkuno._

“Shit, no -- If anything, I’m the one who’ll carry this - this guilt. I, ah, I didn’t forget what you told me back then, you know? But I still worry.” Corpse said, forcing himself to put into words the mess in his heart. It was the least he could do. Sykkuno deserved his honesty. “I know that we will always be in danger of something happening, especially you, but that doesn’t mean I have to just, I dunno, step away and watch you take the fall alone.”

“I never want you to get hurt, Sy. Ever. And if-if anything did happen to me while trying to rescue you, it wouldn’t be your fault. It was my choice.” Corpse smiled a little, trying to keep himself from completely spilling his heart. “I’d do anything to keep you safe.”

Sykkuno’s rosy cheeks were a lovely sight, and Corpse relished at the stuttering mess the other was reduced to, shamelessly snuggling closer and closing his eyes. He was getting dangerously used to this soft intimacy with Sykkuno, and even though sleeping practically on the floor had its downsides he’d gladly trade the comfort of his bed forever if it meant he could have this for a few more nights. Sykkuno no longer refused to even look at his bed frame, but it was still pushed to the side of their hut and slowly gathering dust after weeks of disuse.

Corpse knew this wouldn’t last much longer though. 

Sykkuno was steadily getting better, yet every night he waited for Corpse to join him, eyes warm and inviting, glinting like stars and full of secrets. It was taking every ounce of self-control Corpse possessed to stop himself from telling Sykkuno just how deep his feelings ran, how he’d spend every waking hour thinking about him, and that even in his dreams they were together. They were playing a dangerous game, and everytime Sykkuno as much as breathed in his direction, Corpse felt his throat close up under the barrage of words that wanted to spill from his lips directly into Sykkuno’s.

Sykkuno was also growing restless, and Corpse had caught him wandering around their borders many times in the last month, long fingers running over the bark of the trees like he was greeting an old friend. The summer was slowly coming to an end, and Corpse couldn’t remember an occasion where Sykkuno had stayed at their base for such a long stretch of time. He asked him what was holding him back, and Sykkuno had simply shrugged and avoided his eyes, left hand going to where there was still a yellowing bruise just below his ribcage. 

“I--I don’t wanna leave you guys alone, you know? Lud has so much on his plate, and Rae might n-need help with the training, and Ash said she’d like to go over the plans for the orchard before fall…” Sykkuno had blabbered on, eyes full of longing fixed on the horizon.

Corpse felt his blood run just a little hotter at that. Those things had never mattered before, and Corpse could tell Sykkuno wasn’t fooling anyone with those flimsy excuses. _That’s enough._ He thought. _They’ve taken enough from him._

The next morning, Corpse was up with the sun, gently nudging Sykkuno awake. “C’mon Sy, time to wake up.” 

Sykkuno grumbled a little, but let himself be shepherded out of the house and into the stables without too much trouble, climbing onto Corpse’s horse without a second thought, grip steady on his wait. Corpse’s traitor heart gave a little jump at that, and he was glad that Sykkuno couldn’t see his face heating up. 

They left J10 at the crack of dawn, Sykkuno slowly coming alive as the land stretched before them, endless and full of promise. This type of careless freedom left a sweet aftertaste on Corpse’s tongue, and he could feel the tight band that’d winded itself around his heart ever since Sykkuno’s kidnapping finally loosen a little from his chest. The sight of Sykkuno windswept and happy did much kinder things to his heart, and Corpse felt immensely proud that he was the one to bring such a carefree smile to Sykkuno’s face. 

They ended up going East, stopping by the cliffs to eat some food and staying there for the rest of the afternoon, their chatter droned out by the crashing waves below. Corpse himself wasn’t used to this particular area, but Sykkuno said it was one of his favourite places. The fact he wanted to share it with Corpse was amazing in itself, but it also didn’t hurt that it was isolated and on the complete opposite side of Goblin’s base. Corpse remembered clearly how long the journey back home felt that night with Sykkuno’s trembling form tightly wrapped around in his cloak, and he’d like to avoid those parts of the woods for the time being.

“I’ve missed this.” Sykkuno said softly, long limbs stretching out in the grass, pulling Corpse back to the present. 

_And I’ve missed you_ , Corpse though unbidden, smile shy while he sat down as well. _I miss you even when you’re right in front of me, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you again._

Corpse’s heart was drumming a different melody inside his chest, the rhythm all-encompassing and familiar. Cast in the hues of the setting sun, Sykkuno looked like something precious and ethereal, skin smooth and pink and glowing. Like this, he was perfect, and Corpse was _undeserving,_ _would never be enough_ , but his heart couldn’t help but _want_. 

Sykkuno scooted closer to him, beautiful, and Corpse tensed but didn’t pull away, not like he’d have done before, playing catch like the ebb and flow of the ocean. Sykkuno looked up at him, eyes luminous, hands warm where they touched Corpse’s thigh, and for a single sunlit moment everything stopped. The world narrowed down to the space between them, muted. Corpse felt like he was underwater. 

Slowly, like the sun’s slow descent into the ocean, Corpse leaned down toward Sykkuno, and Sykkuno met him halfway. Their lips touched for a moment, soft and gentle, careful, like Sykkuno was something precious that needed to be preserved, protected. Corpse exhaled slowly and started to pull away, panic bursting the soft bubble that encased them, but Sykkuno chased after him, hands steady on the nape of Corpse’s head, gentle but decisive like he was with everything else. 

Kissing Sykkuno was like finally reaching the surface after almost drowning, fresh and sharp. It was like coming alive. 

They parted and Corpse felt like he was floating, cast away and adrift, Sykkuno’s hands on his shoulders the only lifeline against the feelings overflowing his chest. Corpse looked down, the depths of Sykkuno’s eyes offering him safe harbor, his smile a comforting reassurance like he knew all along this was where they were headed, but was too afraid to believe. 

Corpse smiled, and kissed Sykkuno again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These past weeks have been insane, and it was really nice to have such amazing reviews <3 Thank you all so much!!
> 
> I dunno if you guys noticed, but we'll have one more chapter than initially planned 👀 It's been really fun writing this AU, and I wanna take my time to wrap this up accordingly. I'll start my Masters next month (!!), so updates might take a little longer than usual. I hope I can keep up with the bi-weekly updates, but we'll see how everything goes. 
> 
> Also, the BIGGEST shoutout to [nutteu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nutteu/pseuds/nutteu)!! We stan bilingual authors in this house!! I feel super honored to have inspired their work, and you guys should totally go and give their story some love <3 
> 
> Next chapter: Leslie & Edison POV. 
> 
> Wear a mask and stay safe!


	6. Leslie & Edison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the biggest shoutout to [wheniwasfragile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheniwasfragile/pseuds/wheniwasfragile) for her amazing work!!! Girl, you're the absolute BEST, this fic wouldn't have gotten to chapter 3 without you <3 [Vee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofhearts/pseuds/heirsofbrokenlegacies) is also helping me edit the earlier chapters, and her feedback is priceless. Not gonna lie: I got major cold feet writing this chapter, but thankfully they both helped me get past that stuff. Thank you both so much for the time and patience!!
> 
> Here's almost 9k of Leslie & Edison being a cute while our boys fumble like teenagers on the background

_There’s a dangerous place down south_ , people say, _The devil has been tamed by a silver tongued man, and killers are free to roam their land._

 _There is a camp led by a man who defied Goblin,_ the old folk say, _people went to war over him, and won._

 _They are hidden behind a waterfall,_ a woman whispers, eyes wide in the darkness of the mines _, where everyone is welcome, no matter how bad you are with a gun._

_They have diamonds, and a river of oil runs through their property. They have an arsenal buried beneath the buildings, and they could level the land if they wanted. They almost did._

Edison knew that people didn’t have much to do on their down time other than fuck around and gossip, so he sort of understood the need to keep spinning tales about these imaginary camps. He could see the point of making up stories about this fantastic place where the sun always shone and crops grew strong and high, and people didn’t murder each other over a piece of bread. It just wasn’t for him, this fruitless daydreaming. 

And the stories were growing quite unbelievable. He preferred when they were more grounded, more believable, but this whole J10 thing was blowing up spectacularly. A camp made out of pacifist murderers hidden away god knows where, with an elusive mysterious leader everybody seemed ready to go to war for? Against _Goblin_ , nonetheless. 

It all sounded too good to be true. 

Edison was a very down to earth kind of guy, and he prided himself on having a good head on his shoulders. He’d much rather believe in tangible things, like the warmth of a meal during winter, the numbing pain on his arms after a day’s quota of work and the glowing smile on Leslie’s face that was reserved just for him. 

And what a beautiful thing to believe in. 

Leslie and Edison had been together since their early teens, meeting when their respective groups formed a fleeting alliance and staying together ever since. They’d grown up together with a roof over their heads, full bellies and some semblance of normalcy amid all the chaos, and if that wasn’t a fairytale in itself, Edison didn’t know what else could be out there. Eventually their large group had dwindled out and scattered away, but Edison had remained steadfast by Leslie’s side, and what a privilege that was. Leslie was a little firecracker of a woman, smart and assertive and loving, and Edison felt the most at home when her bell chime laughter reverberated through his chest, her head tucked safely under his chin for the night. 

Edison would be ready to take on the world, if only he had her by his side. 

  
  
  


One day, almost half a year ago, a guy named Peter had come to negotiate with their camp and kept coming back for a few weeks until Fed and the guys took his deal. Offering crates of some old alcohol as both a greeting and a peace offering, Peter had convinced Fed to give most of camp a night off to celebrate their arrangement, and Edison’s name had expectedly been one of the lucky ones to be chosen for the party. Fed had been going out of his way to show Edison just how _easier_ life could get if Edison stopped being difficult and took the role he’d been offered - to be Fed’s right hand man, handle his _affairs_ , take part in meetings and turn into the type of man Edison had fought tooth and nail to avoid ever becoming. Edison was adamant to stay where he was, doing things out of his own free will while dodging his offers with a smile and a shrug. Edison claimed that physical labour made him happier. The next day, he told Fed he wasn’t that good with numbers. He was sure that those excuses were growing flimsier by the day, and he’d have to come up with a better strategy soon or leave the camp for good once winter came and went. 

As the night progressed, Edison saw himself get drunker and drunker, heart unexpectedly heavy without Leslie’s bright presence by his side. It didn’t feel right to be out here celebrating some big accomplishment when more than half of their people were down working at the mines, carving the mountain from the inside out looking for some elusive treasure Edison was sure Fed had no interest in sharing.

He sighed deeply, and tried to reroute his thoughts somewhere else. _Hmmm, happy thoughts._ He wouldn’t waste his night off dwelling on Fed’s crappy behavior. 

The next time he was aware of himself, he was passionately going on and on about how amazing Leslie was and how deeply he missed her and how absolutely _unfair_ it was that she had to work tonight. His audience was made entirely of one man who was giggling openly at him and that, after some careful consideration, Edison’s hazy vision recognized the sprawled mess of limbs as Peter. Peter’s laugh was sharp and explosive, like a dog barking to be let out, and Edison’s drunk brain found it kinda endearing how Peter’s whole body shook with the force of his mirth. 

“Oh man, I kinda wanna meet this Leslie of yours, she sounds terrific.”  
  
“Yeah, she is.” Edison preened. Leslie deserved all the recognition, and he’d take every opportunity he could get to sing her praises. “She’s sooooo smart, dude, and beautiful. And her hands! They are so small? Like, I can fit both of them inside my own, it’s crazy. I miss her.”

Peter chuckled, taking another swing of his beer. “So you’ve told me. Where is she, by the way?”

“She had a double shift down in the caves today. Nobody wanted to trade and miss out on the party.” Edison said, pouting a little. “People are scared to work on the mines when it’s dark, but that’s _really dumb_ , you know? It’s not like you can tell if it’s day or night down there. And Leslie ain’t scared of anything, so she always volunteers f’r the night shift.”

“That sucks, dude. Now that I think of it, everyone looks kinda haggard to me.” Peter’s eyes scanned the crowd, but Edison didn’t even bother to look up from his glass. He saw the tired eyes and slumped postures daily. He knew what Peter was talking about. “They’re really overworking you guys here, huh?”

Edison nodded his head, getting a little dizzy with the force of it. _Oh Gosh._ He had to slow down a little, or else he’d never make back home safely. Even though they were inside camp borders, it never hurt to be extra careful, especially on a night like this. Peter helped him sit up straighter against the rock they were leaning on, producing a water bottle out of thin air and giving it to Edison. 

“But that’s the thing,” Peter mused, eyes intent on Edison’s face. “If you love your girl so much, why are you here? No offense, but this is a shithole, man, and your boss is awful.”

Edison took a long swig out of the bottle, trying to parse through his slow thoughts. Usually he’d crack a joke about missing sunlight and that would be it, but there was something on Peter’s gaze that made Edison feel bold like he usually didn’t allow himself to be. “Where would we even go? It’s a tough world out there, and me and Leslie... we talked about it. Out of everything else, living in the mountains is a safe bet. I know Fed isn’t great, but at least we have some rules in place. I like rules.”

“Yeaaahhh, but you guys deserve more. I heard some great things about you, man, and I bet your girl is just like you. Fed isn’t one to give out compliments, like, at all, but he seemed pretty impressed with you.” Peter was inching closer, an arm casually thrown over Edison’s shoulder. The silence between them was strangely charged, and Peter’s eyes kept darting around, tracking the moving patterns from the fire like he expected something to come out of the darkness and engulf them both. 

“You know what, I think you would be _perfect_ for them.” Peter’s voice was insistent, his words turned rapid-fire, and Edison had a feeling he had been waiting for an opportunity to broach the subject. Edison could feel this was important, his foggy mind suddenly working overtime to keep up with the conversation. “You should go to J10.”

_Or maybe Peter was just drunker than he looked._

“Riiiiiight, J10. I guess I’ll just grab my things and climb up the next rainbow I see, I’m sure it’ll get me there in no time,” Edison said, gesticulating with his water bottle for emphasis. _Fuck, for a moment there I thought he was serious._ It seemed like Edison was so desperate for an out that he had pinned his hopes on a virtual stranger. 

“Oh my god, wait until I tell Sykkuno people think he’s living at the end of a rainbow like some goddamn unicorn. Oh man, he’s gonna be so flustered.” Peter’s laugh was loud and brash, and got some heads turned in their direction. He waved away the concern, trying to regain his breath. Edison shook his head, trying to regain _his_ mental footing. When Peter spoke again, his voice was a little lower than before, and Edison strained a little to hear. “But I am serious. If you ever decide to leave, you should hit us up. I’m with Toast by the shoreline up North, but you could also head southwest, right? From here, it’s maybe a week of travel until you reach their borders. I dunno why, but I get this vibe you’d fit in well with the J10 crew.”

Edison scoffed at the idea, but tucked the information away in his brain anyway. Sober Edison could deal with it. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the rare opportunity of talking to someone with critical sense while also getting hammered on the job. Life was okay, and it’d only get better once he got back to his quarters and snuggled up into Leslie’s warmth.

But Peter kept talking about the wonders of J10, painting such a pretty picture that even Edison’s renewed skepticism swayed a little: if half the stuff he said was true, this camp was a formidable place. 

_Some people don’t fit in, too many ex-mercs playing house you know? Corpse and Valkyrae did terrorize a lot of people before meeting Sykkuno, and the younger ones are wicked in their own way._ Peter had said, right before dropping Edison off in front of his cave. His voice was relentless, eyes pulling Edison in and refusing to let go. _But it’s a nice community, much nicer than what you guys have here. Better than anything else out there. And they could use a guy like you._

The headache he got the morning after was killer, and the pounding of his head inexorably pushed J10 to the back of his mind. However, every time he saw Leslie get back from the excavation site, wary and tired, hands bleeding after the longs hours mining those stupid rocks, he could feel the slow crawl of Peter’s words breaking free from the confines of his memories into the forefront of his mind. 

  
  
  


________

“Babe, c’mon, wake up,” Leslie whispered, voice urgent in his ear. 

“ _Wha_ \- Leslie, what time is it?” Edison asked, trying to blink away the sleep from his eyes. He looked around their little bedroom for some unknown threat, but could only make out her fuzzy shape in the pre-dawn light. 

“We have to go. I met up with some of the girls after my shift - Wendy heard Fed was gonna round us up to do something, and I really don’t wanna stick around to see what exactly he’s planning.”

That sent off every alarm on the back of Edison’s mind, and like a flip of a switch he was awake and ready to go. They had to move fast if they wanted to escape before people started trickling out of their caves. “Yeah, okay. You’re right. Is anyone coming with us? Do we need to wait?”  
  
Leslie shook her head, frantic eyes scanning their sparse bedroom while trying to fit their threadbare quilt into a battered bag. “No, most of the girls didn’t really believe Wendy, and those who did must be halfway down the mountain already. I stopped to gather some stuff from the warehouse, but I couldn’t take too much.”

Edison stood up and gathered Leslie into his arms, inhaling deeply to center them both. “That’s okay, love. C’mon. Let’s get out of here.”

Letting her go, Edison helped stuff the rest of their meager possessions into Leslie’s backpack. A purple gemstone Edison had mined during their first week; a beaten up jacket from some long-forgotten teammate; a red feather, some boots and a leather waterskin. Their quarters weren’t much more than a hole crudely excavated in the wall, but it had been their home for the past seasons, and Edison’s heart gave a tiny squeeze at the thought of leaving behind the protection it offered. But he trusted Leslie’s judgment even more than his own, and if she felt like they had to leave, he’d do it without so much as a question. 

They made their way down the mountain as the sun began its slow ascent through the sky, and managed to put a few good miles between them and Fed’s camp by the time they stopped to take a breather. From the distance, the mountain looked like it was made of paper, easily blown away by a stronger wind. Living inside it for so long made it feel like it was overarching and endless, inescapable and inevitable, but now Edison could see it for what it was: just a small landmark, generic and unremarkable in the middle of greater and grander things. _Just like Fed._

Leslie wanted to go West and away from the snowy border of the mountains, but Edison felt something prickle at the edge of consciousness. He could remember some slurred words and spilled secrets, the bark of a laughter and someone named Sykkuno that lived just over the rainbow. 

_This is so stupid,_ Edison chided himself. This wasn’t like him at all. When did this idea start to take root in his mind? How could he have missed the vines of hope wrapping inexorably around all rational thought and reason, the seed Peter planted not only taking root but flourishing without his knowledge?

“Maybe, we could try going, _uh_ , southeast.” His voice sounded strained, tight jaw trying to prevent him from giving Leslie some false hope. But the words kept spilling out of him, undeterred. “I dunno if you remember him but -- Peter told me about this place, the one they call J10… It’s not too far, we could try it. He said -- he said it would be a good fit for us.”

Leslie’s eyes were locked on his, reading between all the lines he wasn’t saying. “Okay… Do you know how to get there?”

Edison nodded, trying to remember the instructions Peter had given him before dropping him off at his barrack. “Yeah, I think I can get us there.”

“Lead the way, then.” She smiled that one smile that was just for him, and Edison felt like he could breathe a little easier. After years of partnership, she knew him better than he knew himself, and Edison was beyond grateful for that. Sometimes words were hard for the both of them. However, Edison was confident that they could fill volumes written in their own little language of meaningful looks and casual touches, the lexicon of their love a true testament of the years spent together. 

As the days went on, they kept going west, Edison trying his hardest to track all of the landmarks Peter had mentioned, wracking his brain for any clues he might’ve missed. There was the crooked boulder that looked like an elephant, the small river, the stone circle and _finally,_ after almost two weeks of travel, the tree split by lightning. 

“I think we’re real close now,” Edison said, sitting idly by the fire with Leslie between his legs. They had set up camp a little ways off the charred tree, and he was now engrossed on the task of detangling the frankly absurd amount of leaves from her hair. Living outdoors was great, but it sure did take some getting used to.

Leslie hummed, fingers tapping a rhythm on his calves. “Thank God. It took longer than I expected. But I guess that’s better, right? It means they’re not that easy to find.”

Edison nodded in agreement. One thing he had also noticed was that none of the landmarks matched with the myths people told about J10 - which, he supposed, was also a good sign. 

“I wonder what people are gonna be like. I mean, if what Peter told you is true, they have some pretty heavy hitters there,” Leslie said, letting out a cute little yawn at the end. She turned around and all but manhandled him into their makeshift bed, and made a home on his chest like she always did. Edison laughed, and continued running his hand through the knots in her hair.

“Yeah… But everyone says they’re pacifists. It’s, like, the only thing the stories have in common,” Edison said, snuggling closer and cuddling Leslie to his chest, feeling the enormity of what was coming next start to sink in. They’d be arriving on J10 tomorrow. _Holy shit._

“You know, I’m kinda excited to see them. It’s not everyday you meet someone like Valkyrae or Corpse Husband,” Leslie said, voice low but confident. “I mean, this Sykkuno guy must be something else, right? He’s probably super intimidating and serious, how else would he keep everyone in line?  
  
“Hmm, I can see that. I’d never heard of him, so he must have another alias. Like Bones or Reaper or something dark and intimidating like that.” 

Leslie laughed and punched him on the arm, and Edison felt like his job was done. Their conversation had eased a little bit of the anxious energy buzzing inside his chest, and just looking at how happier she had been these last days on the surface made him feel much more confident in their decision to abandon Fed’s place. All jokes aside, her curiosity had lit a curious flame on his mind, and he caught himself wondering how life would be like once they arrived at their destination.  
  
 _Well, I’m sure we’ll have some probation time._ Edison mused to himself. Leslie was a good enough shooter, and they were both quite strong from working in the mines, so he wasn’t too worried. _Maybe they’ll have us take an oath or do some sort of mission for them, I just hope it isn’t anything too extreme._

  
  
They woke up early the next morning and started to pack their belongings with a sense of finality. That was it: if everything went right, this would’ve been their last night camping. Edison couldn’t say he’d miss it.

Edison had just finished lacing his shoes when he heard faint voices coming towards them. Leslie’s eyes were huge, and she took his hand in hers. 

There were two people coming down the tree line, and Edison’s heart was ready to climb out his throat when he spotted them. The man was probably taller than him, but younger and ganglier. The woman was smaller, maybe Leslie’s height, with long hair and a wicked looking crossbow strapped to her back. Even from a distance, she looked like someone who could kick his ass. 

“..they should’ve been back by now, it’s all I’m saying.”

“C’mon, Rae. Let them have some fun. After everything that happened, they deserve a vacation.”

“I know, _Karl_ , but the party is today! Everyone's coming to celebrate Lud closing off the deal, and they expect them both to be here.” The woman said, and Edison’s brain halted. He couldn’t be hearing it correctly, right? Was this the infamous Valkyrae? _Oh shit. She can definitely kick my ass._ “If they don’t show up by nightfall, I bet you Toast is gonna drag them back himself.”

“Oh man, I’d love to see that.” They both laughed, and Edison could feel Leslie’s grip on his hand tighten as Valkyrae finally spotted them. Her face morphed completely, and Edison saw the casual shift in both her and the other guy’s posture. These definitely were no ordinary people. 

“Hey! You two! You know you’re trespassing, right?” Valkyrae said, a sharp smile stretching her features. Karl was flanking her, and casually assessing Leslie and Edison, head tilted to the side and hands behind his back. 

“We’re looking for a guy named Sykkuno? Peter told me to look for him.” Edison’s voice didn’t waver, and he stood his ground firmly, Leslie doing the same by his side. “I’m Edison, and this is Leslie. We left Fed’s camp a couple days ago.”

Like a switch being flipped, Karl’s whole posture changed in a second. He let out a high pitched laughter that startled Edison, and he was beyond confused when Karl started to jump from one foot to another, almost vibrating out of his skin in excitement. “Oooh!! You’re _whipped drunk dude_ ! And she must be _small hands Leslie_!

There was a moment of confused silence, and Leslie broke into hysterical giggling. 

“Oh my God, I’m gonna kill Peter. Wherever he is, I’m going to find him and kill him.” Edison heard himself say, monotone. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, and he didn’t know what to process first. It was a relief to know Peter had warned J10 about their arrival, as unlikely as it was at the time, and Edison allowed himself to feel a smidge of gratitude for that. But, _whipped drunk dude_ , really? Couldn’t he have given him a better nickname?

Valkyrae had a much nicer smile on, and she extended her hand towards Leslie. “Hi, Leslie, I’m Rae. I’m sorry Karl is an idiot, I told the guys we should've turned him away when we had the chance.”

“Yeah, yeah. You love me, Rae.” Karl dismissed her with a small little wave, long limbs engulfing both Edison and Leslie in a hug that was as sweet as it was confusing. “You guys have the most perfect timing! We’re having a huge bonfire today, and you’ll get to meet everyone. Oh man, first night here and you’re already luckier than me.”

Karl kept chattering on about the celebration, and Edison tried his best to stay relaxed while they walked up to what seemed like a little cluster of houses tucked in the sloping terrain that stretched in front of them. He hadn’t seen much, but Edison was already impressed: there was a huge barn, painted white with small green accents, flowers and trees lining the path. There were two huge stables and what looked like a greenhouse, tucked away behind a massive boulder, with small housings scattered around like white ships amid the tall crops swishing gently like waves. _I can see us staying here_. Leslie’s hand on his was steady, and she had a tiny smile on her lips like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing either. 

Rae led them to a shaded area with some tables where she managed to sneak in introductions between talks of what Leslie and Edison had been up to, what kind of beverage Toast was gonna bring tonight and just how many fire pits they should build beforehand. So far, Edison felt like had a pretty nice grasp of everyone’s personalities, and he was nothing short of amazed at how _at ease_ everyone seemed to be. 

They had traveled a lot, him and Leslie, never really staying in the same place for too long, the space between their bodies the only home they could count on. They got to know a lot of people along the years, but Edison had never met a group quite like this. There was Ash, with her strange accent and frantic energy, laughing along with Bo at some stupid joke Karl made; There was Brooke, who was absolutely delighted with Leslie and wanted to know more about the mines, sharp eyes crinckled in a smile at Leslie’s no-nonsense attitude; There was Tina, small and sweet, just as much as a firecracker as Karl. There was Ludwig, an unexpected pillar of calm in the sea of chaotic voices Edison had been thrown into. 

There was Rae, too, in all her loud glory, but still no sign of Corpse Husband and the elusive Sykkuno. 

“And where is this Sykkuno guy? I’ve been dying to meet him.” Leslie said, tucked into the crook of Edison’s arm, comfortable and warm. She looked around the table when everyone started giggling, and shot Edison an adorably confused look. “What? Guys, is there something I’m missing?” 

“No, no. It’s just… we’re really happy they aren’t here.” Ash said with a grin, only to be smacked in the arm by Tina.

“Oh my God, it sounds like they’re dead and we wanna celebrate. They left to spend, uh, some time alone --” She started, but was quickly interrupted by Ludwig’s snarking: _They’re on their honeymoon, Tina!_

After that, all hell broke loose. It seemed like everyone had an opinion about Sykkuno and Corpse’s absence, and each wanted to make their case heard to the newcomers. 

“... finally got their heads out of their asses --”

“ -- swear to God, I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“The looks! It was so sad --”

“-- they live together already, how could they not see!”

Edison started laughing, and Leslie shot him an amused look while everyone kept talking over each other. This moment felt big, somehow important. The breeze on his face was warm, and the sunshine filtering through the leaves felt golden on his skin. Surrounded by these strangers that were already so familiar, Edison felt like they had truly found their place.

Finally. 

  
  


________

The party wasn’t like anything Leslie had ever seen.

There was a large bonfire shooting sparks up into the night, and a bunch of smaller ones scattered around creating a circle of light that lit up the empty space between the forest and the warehouse. The colored tassels Ash had strung up on the nearby trees danced in the wind, the night air crisp and full of some kind of magic, something unique, intrinsic to living on the surface. There was music and dancing, and she could see Tina prancing around with a big basket, doling out bread and wine to everyone like a whirlwind, long hair flashing copper in her wake.

Leslie and Edison sat on one of the benches, huddled together under one of the many quilts strewn around the party while Ludwig regaled them all with a much more elaborate version of Sykkuno’s rescue than what she had heard circulating around the land. Sykkuno and Corpse were just by her side, Sykkuno getting flustered and flustered as Ludwig spun his tale, and practically everyone else had gathered around to hear Ludwig’s words. There was something about Ludwig that made Leslie instantly want to listen to him, to pay attention. All of them, honestly. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it yet, but there was something different about the J10 crew.

It was clear how they moved around. Their postures and casual touches. The smiles and easy commaradere, the almost paranormal way one of them would say something and the others would just get it, laughter in their eyes, full sentences condensed in just a glance. Compared to the outsiders, especially Toast's team and even Scarra’s, J10 felt like they were a fully realized unit, well-oiled and functioning, while the others were still stumbling around with missing pieces and spare parts that didn’t quite fit. Compared to her own self, she had only seen such a deep understanding between people with her and Edison. She never dared hope she would find it somewhere else. 

“... and then Corpse picked him up bridal style and shot the guards down with only one hand, guys, it was freaking awesome. A true legend.” 

“Oh Jesus, Lud! That--That was not how it happened!” Sykkuno turned his flustered face to Corpse, looking for an ally in the sea of smiling faces. “C’mon, Corpse. Tell them how it really was!”

“Hmmmm, actually, that’s exactly how I remember it too. The only detail Lud got wrong was how we got inside the base.” Corpse said, shooting Ludwig a conspiratorial look. While Sykkuno huffed and tried to argue, there was still a small smile on his face, so maybe he wasn’t all that bothered by the lies. Corpse sneakily gathered Sykkuno’s hand into his own, placing it gently on his lap and holding it there while the others were too busy egging Ludwig on. 

“Ooohh, yeah, the horse! How could I forget Bingus!” Ludwig sighed theatrically, winking at Sykkuno before continuing. “Corpse rode his black stallion into the base, decimating everything on his path. And he got Sykkuno out without ever dismounting it! Truly a sight to behold.”

Laughter exploded around the table, and Leslie could suddenly tell who was responsible for the outrageous stories circulating around about these people.

“I kinda prefer Lud’s version, you know. I- _ah_ , I wish that was how things went in real life, too.” Leslie heard Corpse whisper to Sykkuno, voice almost drowned out by the chatter around them. His eyes had a heavy intensity to them, sad all of a sudden, and Sykkuno let out a soft gasp and turned his body to face Corpse’s, free hand immediately cradling his face. 

Whatever Sykkuno said was lost to her, but the change to Corpse’s gaze was clear as day. His smile was soft, and unlike anything Leslie had seen since their sudden arrival a few hours before. The moment was broken, though, by the loud whistling and general cat-calling that descended upon them as soon as the others took notice of what was happening. 

With an unshakable grace Leslie was a little envious about, Sykkuno completely ignored the noise and turned back to her and Edison to try and engage in a conversation that didn’t revolve around the elephant in the room, just like he had been doing since showing up at the party. 

Sykkuno and Corpse had arrived with little fanfare just as the sun started setting, slipping into the festivities like they had been there all along. As soon as Sykkuno had spotted them, he smiled a small smile and greeted them like old friends, plopping himself by their table and refusing to leave. Leslie had been utterly surprised at how ordinary he looked, especially in contrast with Corpse’s dark _everything_ , but after seeing him interact with the others she could sort of understand why almost everyone present had basically waged a war to get Sykkuno back to safety. There was a quiet kindness to Sykkuno, Leslie could tell, something sweet and understated present in most of his interactions. He was a little closed off, yes, but from the stories she heard and from what she had seen tonight, Leslie was sure that hidden behind his awkward stuttering and self-doubt there was a fierce desire to belong, and to reassure everyone that they had their place.

She was impressed, to say the least. 

Sykkuno was also proving to be an expert at dodging questions, and Leslie was having the time of her life seeing everyone fall over themselves asking about what happened in his _vacation_ while he simply shrugged and said he’d much rather talk about their new teammates, _and really, guys, living in a mountain must be way cooler than whatever else he’d done while they were away._

“So, Peter mentioned you’re good at cooking, Edison.” Sykkuno said, attempt number twenty-seven at shifting the spotlight away from him. His hand was stubbornly clinging to Corpse’s, and Leslie couldn’t help but feel a sort of kinship for the two of them. Being a couple was hard enough, all things considered, and she couldn’t imagine dealing with all this extra attention on top of everything else. 

“Yeah, he’s amazing!” She said, poking Edison on the side just to hear his laughter. “Not gonna lie, when we were young he was pretty bad, but now he’s like magic in the kitchen.”

“Oh, that’s nice. None of us are really good at that, so I’m sure everyone will appreciate getting a reprieve from Lud’s cooking.” Sykkuno said, ignoring Ludwig’s mock outrage. 

“So, you guys been together that long, huh?” Corpse’s voice was surprisingly curious, eyes going back and forth between Leslie and Edison like he could decipher the puzzle of a long-lasting relationship if he stared at them hard enough. 

“Yeah, me and Leslie met when we were teenagers. We stayed together for a few months, and when our groups went separate ways, I got this feeling that I should stick around a little longer.” Edison hugged her close, and Leslie felt warm all over. “We have been together ever since.”

She kept her gaze on Corpse, something in his eyes calling to her. His posture was hunched over Sykkuno, a faded echo of Edison’s own. Corpse blinked and she saw a flash of something raw and longing when he looked down at Sykkuno, gone too fast between one moment and the next. Their hands were still together, and it was easy to see how relaxed his whole demeanor was, thumb rubbing small circles on Sykkuno’s waist while they listened to Edison’s whole tirade about how much Leslie had cried after accidentally shooting him at their first time hunting together. 

“That’s so romantic!” Ludwig exclaimed after Edison finished, reminding Leslie that they were still very much in public and Edison had just exposed her teenage drama in front of a bunch of strangers. Well. She would get her revenge. She had the time.

“Yeah…You guys are really lucky.” Corpse said lowly, eyes focused entirely on Sykkuno. Leslie chanced a last look at them before Edison decided to share any more endearing stories, and caught how Sykkuno shamelessly dropped a kiss to the side of Corpse’s neck, movement lightning flash, giggling softly at his dumbfounded expression. 

It was nice to be reminded how rare their love was. To see that even among this idiosyncrasy of a camp their love and partnership was still a rare sight. That these pacifist ex-murderers could be just in awe with Leslie and Edison as Leslie and Edison were with them.

“We are.” She stated simply, throwing Corpse a meaningful look before going back into Ludwig and Edison’s conversation. “And so are you.”

Leslie smiled at his blushing face and snuggled closer into Edison. 

________

  
  


Being able to watch J10 turn brown-gold as fall settled in really cemented it in Leslie’s mind that they’d made the right call leaving Fed’s place.

It was not like they weren’t allowed to get out of the base, but it just wasn’t practical. They worked really long hours in the mines, and in their rare moments of leisure, Leslie and Edison were too tired to go all the way up to the surface.  
  
The wind felt good on her skin, though. She sure had missed it. 

She and Edison had chosen to stay at a little cottage not too far from the other houses, a dainty little thing full of sunlight that used to double as Sykkuno’s workshop and guest house, left alone after Corpse and Ludwig finished building the greenhouse she had seen on their first day. 

Everyone pretty much stuck around at home that week. Like many things on J10, it became a collective effort to renovate Leslie and Edison’s new house, and everyone buzzed around trying to make sure they would have everything set up accordingly. Leslie felt her heart melt seeing all these people working hard to make sure they’d settle in comfortably, and had to take a moment to collect her thoughts before joining back into the fray. Hearing Edison laugh like a maniac while perching on the roof with Corpse and Rae also helped her feel more grounded, even if just a little. 

Leslie got back to her task of taming the overgrown shrubs by the entrance. She was a little lost, but crouched on the earth and started to work nonetheless. It was clear she didn’t have a lot of experience with gardening, and it was with a sigh of relief she saw Sykkuno coming up towards her.

“Hey, Leslie! C-can I help you?”  
  
“Please! I don’t know what I’m doing,” she answered, gesturing to the mess of leaves around her, and Sykkuno hid a small smile behind his paint-covered fingers. “The windows are looking real pretty, Sykkuno! I like that the green matches everyone’s houses.”  
  
“Yeah, it’s looking really nice.” Sykkuno said, and he started to gently feel around the base of the bush, trying to pry it without causing the same havoc as Leslie. “It’s all Corpse’s fault, actually, he was the one that started it. When Ash and Rae saw how the greenhouse looked, they all wanted it too.”  
  
Leslie smiled. That sounded like them. “Oooh, that’s sweet. But why green?”  
  
“Well -- uh, green is my favourite color. Corpse gathered some green-bluish shells to make the paint for the greenhouse. Everyone loved it, but the shells he used are pretty rare, so we adapted it a little. We usually use plants for the other buildings. ” Sykkuno stammered out, purposely bending down and hiding behind the foliage. “This way, the greenhouse is still, _uh_ , unique. Tha -- That’s what Corpse says, anyway.”  
  
 _Okay, this is adorable_ . Leslie thought to herself. _They really were dancing around each other for a long time, huh?_

They kept working together in the garden, taking a much-needed break when Brooke arrived with snacks. Leslie’s hands were full of small cuts and bruises, pieces of hair falling out of her braid and clinging to her sweaty forehead, but she was proud of how much more habitable the place already looked. She washed her hands and helped herself to a sandwich, plopping down on the space near Tina and Karl. 

She let the casual chatter wash over her, gaze on Edison and Corpse’s movements while they climbed down the roof. She chanced a glance at Sykkuno, and noticed the way his eyes were glued to Corpse’s figure, cheeks tinted pink and expression so _fond_ Leslie had to look away. 

“Heard you guys talking about the greenhouse, babe,” Edison said, sliding into the seat across from her. “Did you know the shells come from that beach up north?”  
  
“The one we camped out a few years back? With that broken palm tree?” Leslie asked, surprised at Edison’s nod of confirmation. “Oh, wow. That’s so far away from here.”  
  
“Yep, that _is_ super far away, Leslie, thank you for mentioning it,” Ludwig said, a smile full of mischief growing slowly on his face. “Did you know It took us six days just to get there?”  
  
“Oh my god, not this _again._ ” Corpse sounded exasperated, letting his weight drop unceremoniously on the bench. Sykkuno surreptitiously got closer to him, and Leslie saw the small smiles they gave each other before Corpse turned back to Ludwig. “You didn’t have to tag along Lud, and I remember warning you it’d be a long-ass trip.”  
  
“That is also true. But it doesn’t change the fact that we travelled all the way there just so you could get some pretty colors for Sykkuno’s gift.” Ludwig answered, grinning wide. He threw one arm around Sykkuno’s shoulders, and mock-whispered to him. “You got yourself a picky motherfucker, Sykkuno. We went over a million shells until Corpse deemed them worthy enough for you.”  
  
Corpse’s ears were red, but he remained stoic by Sykkuno’s side, munching at his sandwich like he couldn’t hear the laughter around him. Sykkuno was also a little pink, but he calmly put his food down and turned to Ludwig, face neutral and tone buttery-sweet. “Well, I, for one, think it’s a good thing Corpse is like that,” Sykkuno said in a more subdued tone, looking directly into Corpse’s eyes. “The greenhouse turned out great, and I love spending time there.”

“Thank you, ba--Sykkuno. I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Corpse answered, biting down on a smile.

“Okay!” Rae’s voice cut through the charged atmosphere, and Leslie felt like she had been snapped out of a daze. “C’mon, guys, we still have a lot to do. Chop chop.”

Corpse said something to Sykkuno that made him smile shyly and shake his head, both of them lost in their own little bubble in a way Leslie could recognize easily. It was heartwarming to witness their interactions. Leslie could see how Corpse looked at Sykkuno like he was the sun to Corpse’s entire system,their love and devotion crystal clear even to a stranger like her. Sykkuno was a little trickier, though. He looked at Corpse like he was everything he’d ever dreamed about -- with love and adoration, yes, but also a hint of uncertainty, like he couldn’t quite believe Corpse was real. Afraid to blink and have it all disappear. 

_Maybe I’m reading too much into things_ , Leslie thought and shook her head, getting up from the bench. Everyone started to shuffle around, tidying up the table before getting back to work, but Leslie plopped herself in the ground, shaking her long hair out her battered braid and motioning for Edison.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming, love,” Edison said, sitting down behind her and brushing his fingers through the knots, going through the motions like a practiced weaver. Rae and Brooke stopped in their tracks, and Sykkuno was shooting them an unreadable look.  
  
"What's up, guys?” Leslie asked, confused. “Is there something on my face?”  
  
“Edison’s the one that braids your hair?” Brooke asked, tone full of glee. 

“Yep, ever since we got together. He’s really good,” Leslie preened.  
  
“It’s very therapeutic,” Edison commented amiably, twisting strands of hair while he talked. “And Leslie’s face is really cute, so I can’t let her hide behind her hair all the time.”  
  
Leslie swatted at his leg, and laughed along with everyone else. The girls were thrilled, and sat down by Edison to watch him work, pestering him to do their hair next. Leslie motioned for Sykkuno to join them on the floor, since he seemed really torn between joining the others back at the house or staying. Edison finished braiding Leslie’s hair and started doing Brooke’s next, showing Rae how he parted the sections to make it easier to handle. Leslie scooted over to Sykkuno’s side, and was happy to see the small smile on his face at Rae and Brooke’s antics. 

“I always thought long hair wasn’t very practical,” Sykkuno said. 

“I guess it can get a little messy sometimes,” she agreed easily, watching Rae try to mimic Edison’s practiced movements on Brooke’s golden hair. At the rate she was going, they’d probably need scissors.

“It’s nice that you have Edison to help you with it, I imagine it makes things a lot easier.” _Was Sykkuno teasing her right now?_

“Yes, it does help _a lot_. He’s very good with his hands, you know?” She laughed at how pink Sykkuno turned, and decided to have some mercy on him. “I know it may sound silly, but the repetition helps me.” 

“It’s grounding to know that no matter where we end up, Edison will always be there in the morning. It’s, _huh_ , our own little ritual,” Leslie said, remembering the years they’d spent waking up together, Edison’s hand an anchor weighing her stray thoughts back down to earth. 

Sykkuno looked a little wistful at that. “That must be nice. I’m sure you guys know it already, but you have something really special. It m-must be pretty rare to have that connection to someone.”  
  
“Yeah.. I’m really grateful we found each other,” she said, turning fully into his direction. “From what I hear, you and Corpse have a pretty deep connection too, huh?”  
  
“Wha-what? I, uh, wouldn’t put it quite like that,” Sykkuno said, flustered. His cheeks were crimson red, and his eyes had a shyness to them, a fragile hopefulness Leslie didn’t quite understand. “We, uh, we just got together, right? It’s been less than a-a month, I’m sure he doesn’t -- he can’t -- we’re still testing t-the waters. I have zero expectations, t-this is super casual.”  
  
Leslie shook her head, absolutely dumbfounded. People could be really blind when they wanted to. “Look, Sykkuno, I’m not claiming to be an expert or whatever, especially since we haven’t known each other for long. But I know love when I see it, okay?” She paused, letting the silence stretch a little before continuing. “I’ve seen you together, and I’ve heard so much about what you and Corpse did to make each other safe that I don’t believe this _casual bullshit_ for a second. You love him, right?  
  
“I, _ah,_ m-maybe,” Sykkuno reluctantly answered, looking like he would start crying at any moment, and Leslie carefully took his hand into hers. “You have n-no idea. I--I’m so scared, Leslie, I don’t want t-to screw this up. I don’t want to l-lose him.”  
  
She didn’t know why, but it felt vital to make him understand just how precious this thing between him and Corpse was. They barely knew each other, and she was fully aware she was overstepping her boundaries, but Leslie had had one too many close calls before, and the thought of losing Edison haunted the darkest corners of her mind; she couldn’t let Sykkuno go on doubting his own feelings, not in a world where Corpse could be taken away from him so easily.  
  
“Sykkuno, please, look at me. You can take your time, no one is saying that you have to get married tomorrow,” Leslie said, quiet, just for the two of them. “I know it’s terrifying, loving someone. I don’t ever wanna think about what losing Edison would be like. But if you do love Corpse, allow yourself to feel it. Don’t downplay it, okay? You deserve it, you both do.”

Sykkuno was looking like she’d punched him in the gut, knees drawn and head half-buried on his arms. Leslie knew that between her and Edison, he was probably the most suited for this kind of conversation, but she tried to soldier on. Just looking at Sykkuno’s defeated posture made her feel all the more guilty for stepping into something that wasn’t her business, but she felt like he needed to hear that, and nobody from J10 seemed to be stepping up to do the job. Leslie took a deep breath and started to rub what she hoped were soothing circles on Sykkuno’s back, giving him a moment.  
  
“I’m sorry, Sykkuno. I didn’t mean to upset you.”  
  
“It--It’s okay,” he answered, voice muffled but steady. “For what it's worth, I c-can see your point. Intellectually, i-it makes sense.”

  
Leslie hummed and decided to leave it at that. They could continue this conversation at another time; she could see Corpse coming towards them, his watchful gaze zeroed in on Sykkuno already.  
  
“What happened? Sy, are you okay?” he asked softly, sitting down by Sykkuno and taking over Leslie’s job of rubbing his back. Sykkuno took a deep breath and just nodded, inching his body closer and taking Corpse’s hand into his. Corpse shot Leslie a worried look, and she simply shrugged. 

“It’s okay, we were just chatting,” she said, getting up and stretching her arms. Edison and the girls had already gone back to work, and she could see him waiting for her by the garden. “I’m gonna head back and help Edison with the flowers. You guys should take a little break, though. Enjoy the shade.”  
  
She left them be and for a while things were quiet. Corpse and Sykkuno stayed away on their own little bubble, Ash and Bo went patrolling, and Karl helped Edison plant some seeds around the small patch of land behind the cottage, and Leslie was feeling pretty good about herself. The house was looking great, and she couldn't wait to start this new chapter of her and Edison’s life.  
  
As the sun was setting, she heard a small ping from the messenger pad Corpse had left lying around the house. She saw the sudden shift on everyone’s posture, but didn’t quite get what was going on until Tina approached, a confused look on her features. 

“Guys! There’s a man looking for Corpse. Ash said she doesn’t recognize him, but she’s bringing him over.” Tina shouted, waving Corpse over. From a distance, Leslie could see Sykkuno’s eyebrows furrowed, and he got to his feet lightning-quick to follow Corpse back to the house. Leslie followed suit, and soon enough everyone was gathered around Corpse while they waited for the stranger to show up.  
  
“I thought no one knew where to find us.” Karl told Tina, his concerned gaze flying from the messenger pad to Corpse and back to Tina. She shrugged, just as lost as everyone else. Rae cursed under her breath and planted herself by Corpse’s side, a wicked looking piece of wood held threateningly between her fingers.  
  
Leslie and Edison stood a little to the side with Brooke and Ludwig, Sykkuno to Corpse’s right. Leslie saw the way he surreptitiously held Corpse’s hand in his for a moment, eyes locking in tense communication before letting go.

“Oh my God,” Corpse said slowly as the figure of a tall man became visible. He towered over Ash’s petite figure, long hair blowing gently in the breeze. Leslie could make out some glasses and a tattered backpack, before Corpse let out an incredulous laugh. “Is that Dave?”

From her vantage point, she saw a carousel of emotions flickering on Sykkuno’s face. The widening of his eyes left him exposed, and there was something raw and vulnerable in his gaze as he took in the stranger, expression so lost Leslie felt every instinct inside her scream to protect him from whatever was going on inside his head. He blinked and it all vanished, being replaced by a strange sort of resignation, eyes distant like she’d never seen before.

The stranger approached their group, an easy smile on his pale face while he greeted Corpse. “Hey man! You’re sure hard to find, huh?”

Corpse laughed and embraced the man with shaking arms. They parted and Corpse gestured for Sykkuno to come closer. “Sy! C’mere! This is the guy I was telling you about that day. This is Dave.” Sykkuno moved graciously, but Leslie could see the way his jaw was still tense, like he wanted to keep the words inside him for as long as possible. He clasped Dave’s hand and smiled politely, that strange detached light still on his eyes. “Dude, this is insane, I never thought we’d see each other again.”

Corpse detangled himself from the man, and started to make introductions. His smile was infectious, and from what Leslie could gather Dave and Corpse had met years ago, got separated and never saw each other again. _Until today._

She could only watch as Sykkuno grew more and more closed off, and the way he simply excused himself with a _headache_ of all things left her with a heavy heart. Edison had picked up on his strange mood too, and kept shooting Leslie worried looks. Corpse seemed a little puzzled by this too, and his eyes kept going over the direction Sykkuno went, magnetized to his presence. _Go to him_ Leslie kept chanting inside her head, willing Corpse to listen to her thoughts. _See if he's okay. Make sure he knows you’re not gonna leave._

“I think I’m gonna go too, guys.” Corpse said, clapping Dave on the back before getting up. Leslie was relieved he had finally caught up. “Usually people stay in our house if they’re visiting, but I -- I don’t think that’s a good idea today, _ah_ , I’m sorry, man”  
  
“No worries dude, go to him. I’ll camp out under the trees or something like that.” Dave said easily, and Leslie kinda hated him for it. How dare he barge in their home like this and make Sykkuno look so unsure, so haunted. She wanted him to be a jerk, just so she could hate him in peace.   
  
“Actually, you can come stay with me, Dave. I’m really curious how you found us,” Rae said, and she looked so innocent Leslie almost believed she was just offering Dave a place out of the goodness of her heart. Almost.  
  
“Lead the way,” Dave said, with a half-bow on Rae’s direction. They both smiled, and Rae hooked her arm into his, practically dragging him away.

“Poor Sykkuno _,”_ Edison said, throwing an arm around Leslie’s shoulders as they walked back into their new home, everyone else having scattered after Corpse’s departure. “I hope they can sort this out, whatever it is.”  
  
Leslie nodded, thinking back to Sykkuno’s words. _I don’t want to lose him._ There was more than one way to lose someone, though, and she sent a silent prayer to whoever was out there that Sykkuno and Corpse would get through this. She had been at J10 for less than three weeks, but she was damn sure it was _way_ past time Corpse and Sykkuno confronted their feelings head on. “Yeah, me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to last chapter and I really wish english had a synonym for _saudade_ because damn, it do be hitting me already. It's missing Rust Era hours you guys, pls press F to pay respects
> 
> Thank you all for the amazing feedback from last chapter! I'm over the moon with how much leslie/edison/sykkuno content we've been getting, and and I'm really happy this chapter lined up with their recent interactions. I have some stuff laid out already, but next chapter will probably take a little while longer, but I think it'll be worth the wait :D I'll probably update the previous chapters next week, but it'll be mostly some grammar and verb tenses, nothing huge. 
> 
> Next and final one: *drumroll* Sykkuno (!!)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [frame the picture pretty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28999725) by [nutteu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nutteu/pseuds/nutteu)




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